A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi Guys! I split with my partner after nearly 5 years together 3 weeks ago. We had split previously before Christmas as things just weren't the same between us and as we'd got together soon after my marriage ended, I think we had really grown apart as I have become a stronger person over time. We also wanted different things out of life - both socially and professionally. I could never see a longer term future for us. I now feel really strange though at the minute - I'm not upset, depressed or anything - I just feel numb - it's like I'm wondering if it was the right decision although I know deep down it was. Am I just feeling sorry for myself a bit and this will pass? Has anyone else gone through the same? Thanks.
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male
reader, markanthonyv0  +, writes (5 April 2007):
Most of our problems can be solved by looking outside and observing others, then looking inside and see how what we have learned applies to us. Try this, look at other people who are in a relationship, whether it is a good or bad relationship. Look at them and imagine how they would feel if they were separated, like you are now. You would imagine they would feel a little lonely and out of place right. Something that was there regularly at a predictable rate is no longer there. You would imagine they got used to seeing that special person from time to time, but now there mind/logic is telling them, "you are separated now, you will not SEE this person again like you used to ever again" Think about the impact that special person has somebody's everyday life, when you wake up and say hi, when you go to sleep and say good night. So if you figure that out, then you need to take the next step. What is the next step. I'll leave you with this, you have a void in your heart that is so powerful it cancels out all your other emotions, you need to fill this void in the same manner you filled it before.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2007): 5 years together is a long time, there must have been some strong feelings involved to sustain you for that long. Numbness is perfectly normal for someone to feel after a break, it's just your body's defense mechanism to keep you from feeling painful emotions. This feeling will eventually wear away and you may then feel a lot of hurt. This is normal as well. The numbness will definitely not last forever. Just be prepared to deal with it. Here is an online guide that I've found helpful: http://www.mcwilliams.com/books/sur/srtoc.htmPerhaps it will help you sort through your feelings. Good luck.
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