A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I lived with my boyfriend for more than 3 years. For the period of time we lived together I am always the one initiate sex. I'm always hurt when he postoned to make love to me, coz he is always busy playing cards or playing with his Xbox. I know he is not cheating on me, coz he goes straigh home after work, and i always pick him up from work. he dont hang out with his friend, he spend most of his time painting miniatures, like hours... last weekend we are both off from work, and the whole time he is playing with his xbox till 4am,i initiate it to sleep with me coz i miss him the whole week we are both busy working. i asked him why he spend more time with his hobbies than giving me attention, i told him everytime he reject me he hurt me, and this time he said something like he prepare to play than have sex with me, i lost control and i slap him hard on his face. Now he's gone, he left me and never call me. i miss him a lot, but I don't know where he is. Do I need to feel guilty? I know i been a good girlfriend.
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (20 October 2008):
 Using violence is of course never right. If you were the one who preffered to game rather then have sex with him, would it have been OK for him to hit you? No.
On the other hand, you heard his answer, he prefers his gaming over sex with you. We are talking sex here, not even been intimate or spending time together but sex.
What is left, being his cleaner? If he prefers a console over a consort, so be it. Time for you to call it a day.
Some people just don't want a relationship. They might say they love someone and want to be together but are unable to change their life to make it work.
If you get puppy, it must be walked.
If you get a cat, its box must be cleaned.
If you get a girlfriend, she needs to be given attention.
You shouldn't get a puppy, if don't enjoy walking.
You shouldn't get a cat if you mind cleaning its box.
And you shouldn't get a girlfriend is you want to spend all your time alone doing your own things.
The fault for hitting him lies with you and there is no excuse.
The fault for the relationship not working lies with him. Some might suggest you can change him but in my experience people can only change themselves and only after they hit bottom. You already said how he makes you feel and you got your answer. What more do you need to be told?
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (20 October 2008):
You hit him! Yes you should feel guilty!Find him and apologise for being violent. Explain how hurt you are that he ignores you all the time and it had just built up until you exploded.Tell him you want to try again but you want a boyfriend, not a housemate and if he doesn't want to have sex with you then he should move out.Good Luck!! xx
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