A
male
age
30-35,
*ockshredder
writes:Hi everyone. I am the same guy with the following post. Please read through it cause I want guidence really bad.http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-do-i-find-out-if-this-beautiful.htmlAfter that I have moved quite further. I talk to her almost on every shift. Today earthquake came in our state so it was a hot topic. When she came I asked her if she was ok so the talk started. Then she told me she goes to college and she in arts and makes drawings. I cracked a joke to make a drawing of me. She enjoyed too. Another coworker was also talking to her so I got the hunch that he also likes her. I immediately asked her afterwards if he does and he said yes. I told him that I am very serious with her so please respect my feelings. He said I am so goodlooking that she will come to me herself, what will you do then? I again requested him to step back cause I am requesting as a friend but I don't think he will. The same happened with my ex. Someone else took her after a relation of 4 years. However when I was leaving, I again talked to her and made her laugh and said that I will see her on Friday (she is working next on Friday).After my ex with whom I had a relation of 4 years, feelings almost died. But now I am falling again. I am getting out of control. I like her so much. What should I do? I have no skills no magic words so I don't know how to make her crazy for me. I know I should move slow but I cannot because I am thirsty for attention by her. I remained a simple hearted guy throughout my life and always believed to be myself but I think all these theories are crap and bullshit. That guy is cute and I am average. That guy got her talking to her so easily.Tell me what can I do? The thing is that we work in retail and I don't get a chance to talk to her a lot cause our store is really busy. We are working all the time.It is hardly a coincidence to meet up at break room as well. Lunch break is just 30 minutes and rarely the same time as her.The only option is asking her out which scares me to death cause it might be too early. But I want to make her mine cause there are a lot of players in my workplace who would steal her away. I seem to be left with no choice but to be be hasty. Help me please. I can take it slow if that guy just leaves this job. He is a sure threat to me now.I know where I would take her for lunch and I even know how to strike a conversation and keep her entertained if we go. I will make her laugh as well. But all I want is a chance and a skill to ask her in such a way that she does not say 'NO'. It is her 3rd week now so I think it might be ok.
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male
reader, doublejack +, writes (25 August 2011):
OK, if you like this girl and want to date her, then as the other posters have commented you need to just go for it and ask her out. There's no secret to asking, and there is no guarantee she'll say yes. She may even have a boyfriend already.
You admit you're scared to death by the prospect of asking her out, but that's something you'll have to face and get over. Otherwise you'll never have dates. It is a numbers game, if you ask enough girls many will say no but some will say yes. The way I got over this was to just keep asking, and eventually the rejections don't bother you anymore.
However, something else I wanted to comment on is that it appears you have a tendency to get too attached too quickly. Take this coworker for example. Yes, you find her to be very attractive. However, a solid relationship involves a LOT more than looks. The part where you told the other guy you work with who likes her "I am very serious with her" I find a little unhealthy. What you have right now is a crush, you can't truly be in love this quickly. Perhaps that's why breakups are so difficult for you. It is for your own good, to protect yourself, to be more guarded with your feelings. Otherwise you'll just keep getting hurt.
I hope you do ask her out, best of luck!
A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (24 August 2011):
 why not just go for it. you will be regret it if you don't ask her and then someone else gets her first.
'fortune favours the bold'
i read your other post and i have to say, you seem to have a downer on yourself just coz you are from Pakistan. if a girl does not want to go out with you or a person does not want to friends with you for that reason, then they are RACISTS and you are better off without them in your life anyway
x
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (24 August 2011):
 You can't ask her in such a way that she WILL NOT say "no". There is always a 50-50% chance of her saying no, ALWAYS.
If you like her, you need to make sure that she knows you're interested in her. Sooner rather than later. But don't think that you can magically force her into accepting you or liking you, that only happens in movies, and real life isn't a movie.
What you can do is move deliberately but patiently. Make your interest clear but don't push her. Pursue her, don't crowd her, and if she lets you know that she's not interested in you in the same way, accept it gracefully and move on.
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