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female
,
anonymous
writes: My best friend and i drifted apart. She said i changed, and blamed my smoking pot, which i only do very occasionally and never when she's around (please not that's not what i'm asking advice for). But i know it's her that's changed. She completely changed her image and her personality changed with it. She then changed her circle of friends so that she fitted in (they have the same image). I'm in my last month or so of school, next year we'll all be in college. She's suddenly started hanging around with us again, but i think it's just because she's realised that she was losing our friendship by ditching us, and i think she's insecure about college and is just using us because she wants as many friends as she can have to make the whole college thing easier when it comes. We used to be really close, almost too close, as she once admitted that she had a crush on me, and i'll admit that our relationship was pretty much the same as relationships that i have with guys that i'm in love with, only without the physical side of things. People have suggested different reasons for her changing; my friend says that it's just that she's finally grown up (she's always been very young); my mum says that she was in love with me, and she's finally fallen out of love. I actually didn't discard this suggestion, as when i got a bf she started acting very odd, going from being extemely clingy to giving me the cold shoulder. I wasn't negleting our friendship at this time, except perhaps talking about my bf a lot. But there was this one time when i was standing outside school afterschool talking to my bf who had come to meet me, and my friend actually got off the bus she had gotten on so that she could hug me, even though i had seen her an hour beforehand. But now i feel really guilty, because she's trying to be nice to me again, but she gets into my personal space and i can't help but feel uncomfortable, even though a few months ago i wouldn't have batted an eyelid. What's going on with us? Can it ever return to how it was before? I miss her.
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (13 May 2006):
 I am not going to lecture you on smoking weed/pot because you say thats what you dont want - but you obviously know it isn't doing you any good.
I think this friendship may have run it's course. I think there are bigger issues here, like sexuality etc. I think maybe you should settle for just being acquaintances/mates. Stops anybody getting hurt in the long run. And anyway, we can never turn the clock back no matter how much we want to or try.
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