A
male
age
41-50,
*ick2010
writes:Hello guys and girls.. About a year ago.. I had an issue with my girl friend which I reported here http://www.dearcupid.org/question/girlfriend-cheated-but-then-chose-me-but-im.html .. the TL;DR version is about how my gf cheated on (because I became "non committal and distance) I caught her, begged, broke with the guy and we have been great since... well until recently when she has to go for compulsory national service in my country which usually involves being sent to a distant part of our country after university.We have been apart now for close to 3 weeks while she is in some form of boot camp. Our time apart made me realize how much I am yet to trust her since the last incident.A little background. Our relationship as certainly grown since the last issue we had. I have learned to be sensitive, we are closer and communicate easier.. The relationship has grown in passion and commitment.. (I have met her parents she has met my mum and we plan on marriage next year .. at her bidding cause she said she can't wait to be my wife)yet despite all this.. I realize that am yet to fully trust her. I always find myself thinking she is up to something while far away in camp. My girl is very pretty and gets attention from guys a LOT.. and that doesn't help. I am just not sure how strong and committed she would be in the face of competition especially as I am not physically present. This insecurity and lack of trust is really causing us stress and she keeps telling me to just trust her and she is fully into this relationship. Yet no amount of assurances calms me. I just can't shake the feeling she is in this for pity or afraid to break my heart again.I really want to trust this girl.. I have tried independently fact checking what she tells me on phone about camp and it all checks out.. Yet I just always have doubts.. she senses it and I know it hurts her cause she says stuff like "why do you always doubt me".. I really love this girl and want to trust her.. I just can't figure out how :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2014): Man, obviously she didnt love and respect you. Otherwise she wouldnt have cheated on you the first time. You deserve better. You owe it to yourself. Find a new decent loving girlfriend. You will be happy if you did.
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