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male
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anonymous
writes: HiI really really like this chick, but shes got a bf that shes quite close to. And to make matters worse she's best friends with my sister. I already told her once how I felt and she told me she thought I was cool to talk to and stuff but she had a boy friend. And once she told my sister that if it wasnt for the boyfriend she would have gone out with me.So im kinda stuck and confused now on what to do, I find it really hard to be attracted to other girls, cause I think of her all the time.Her birthday is coming up, should I buy her a present? or will that bring up even more confusion.Thanks in advance
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2007): Well it seems like ur feeling a bit jelouse and thats understandible. Cos at the mo my best friend is being taken away by my RELE old best friend and im a bit jelouse too! And i've talked to them and it seems to be getting better by the day. So anyaway onto your question i think you should try and get REAL close to her and always give her a option to do stuff with you , never let her out of your sight and stand up for her and alway be there to comfort her and then just maybe she will relise your the one for her! But on the otherhand if this guy and her are really into eachother and all that stuff then if you love her so much then you should accept the fact that sometimes you have to let go and move on Or maybe try and get to know her boyfriend and she will be proud of you. Still love is blind..maybe she'll relise soon.
A
female
reader, UsuallyConfused  +, writes (30 May 2006):
It all depends on the girl. If she is like me then any interest a guy shows me only drives me away (oviously my issue and not there's) but most of my girlfriends love it when a guy is persistent and willing to chase.
The only caution I give you is that she is friends with you sister so treat it with care.
If you are going to get her a gift I think she will really appreciate that, but let her know that it is a gift of frienship and respect not a ploy to win her heart. Take it slow with her and be patient. If she told your sister that if it wasn't for her boyfriend she would have gone out with you then the chances of you being able to win her heart are big. Just don't do it in the traditional way and don't pressure her in any way at all. Just be there for her as a freind, chat with her, hang out with her and just let her get to know you. She will remember what you once said and if she gets to know you a bit better she will do all the decision making on her own.
Think about the gift you are going to get her, something small but meaningful. Like think back to nearly every conversation you had with her and what her interests are. Even if she just said once that she really enjoyed reading, "Wuthering Heights' at school and you remembered and got her a copy for herself it would mean the world to her. Or if she once said that she loves Thai food get her a Thai cookbook (it will probably give her the idea to invite you over for a meal anyway). Or if she said that she just loves fluffy bed socks get her a pair! I know it sounds a bit silly but that's my point, don't think so much about the actual gift but what it will make her think. For you to remember a comment she made in passing would mean heaps to her. Don't ask your sister what to get her, think of something on your own so that she will know that it was because of a conversation or something that you shared with her and remembered. You can always confirm your idea with your sister to see what she thinks about it. But trust me, one small gift that means something and that you know she will really like is going to be worth more then if her boyfriend gets her hundreds of dollars worth of clothes or jewellry. Good Luck!
PS. dont' put all your hopes and dreams into the one person just yet though, if you meet someone go out with them, it won't hurt. It will get your friend thinking and hey you just might enjoy yourself in the meantime too! Just don't forget to keep having fun!!
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A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell  +, writes (29 May 2006):
 Dear Reader,
yeah buy her a present! It's a sign that you respect her and chances are it'll make her see u like her and make her like u more! It's really sweet you're going to so much trouble for just one girl and i think all us female agony aunts are going all mushy just READING your problem! I'd keep tryin for her, persistence usually pays off. Go find your happiness!
Good Luck, All The best and Blessed Be,
Phoebe
xxx
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