A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex-boyfriend is 36 yrs old and we were together for 2 1/2 years. He was the first man I felt truly comfortable around and we were really compatible. I felt we were on the same wave length, and that he was a very attentive and fair man. However, we were not without our problems. Our sex life never really got off the ground as much as I would have liked due to it being extremely painful for me. Whilst my ex-bf was very supportive to begin with, after a while he didn't seem interested in penetrative sex. I think he got a mental block about it because he knew it was painful for me, but he didn't find talking about things easy so I never really got a reason as to why.Back at the end of September, I started to suspect something was wrong when he told me he had got rid of his old mobile and then text me from it. I don't think the text was aimed for me. It wasn't racy, quite the opposite in fact, but I felt like he had lied to me. He then started bailing out of dates. He had been working an awful lot at the time so we could save enough to move in together. However, I started to think the work thing was an excuse for something else. Although I questioned him a little bit, I didn't accuse him of anything as I had no concrete proof.He contact me wishing me a happy birthday like I was still his girlfriend, but there was no card or present which I thought was weird. He then contact me asking me when was a good time to call, and I didn't hear from him for a month when all of a sudden he then started bombarding me with texts again, so I started thinking that maybe he wanted to talk about sorting things out one way or another. He said he wasn't sure about things, asked what I thought and then finished by saying he didn't think things were working out between us. I was shell-shocked. I wondered why on earth he had been bombarding me with messages again. I then asked him why he felt things hadn't worked out and asked if he had been seeing someone else as I wanted some answers as to why he had been behaving so erratically. He hasn't answered despite me asking him twice. I sent him a Christmas card as I hoped that we could be friends, but got nothing from him.I sent Christmas greetings to his best friends and his sister-in-law too (as I thought we got on really well) but have heard nothing from them at all. I know their loyalties will be towards my ex, but my ex and I never fell out so it's not as if they need to take sides. It's as if they've all closed ranks. His parents did kindly send me a card though.I know everyone has their problems/not-so -easy -to -get -along -with side but I never imagined that my ex would shut me out of his life like this, particularly without explaining why. I had thought we were going to move in together soon, so I feel like I've had the rug well and truly taken out from underneath my feet. Not only have I lost my boyfriend, but also his whole family. I really felt like I belonged to a close-knit family at long last and now thats gone too.I am not feeling too upset about things at the moment, just really baffled by it all and without any closure as to why things went the way they did I am struggling to move on.
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