A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I've started giving my boyfriend (who has been in my life for quite a while now) hand-jobs a little while ago and when I did start I very expressly said that I wasn't ready for him to put his hands in my pants. And he respected that and left well alone.We're big on trust and honesty and we really click - I know it probably won't last forever because of how old we are - but he's my dream guy. Appearance, hobbies, personality - the works! I trust him very deeply and I have never experienced such raw emotion with a guy or been so far with a guy.We say "I Love You" and I'm reasonably sure he means it, I sure do. He seems to be stepping out of his comfort zone with me in terms of investing time and emotion into me :) Last night he tried to finger me - he did it through my underwear though because he heard what I said, but he says he wants to give me the same pleasure I give him (I give pretty explosive hand-jobs for a first-timer). And yeah I enjoyed it - it was pretty amazing - but I still wish he hadn't done it because I really don't feel ready for it even if I enjoyed it.If I tell him not to do it - will it hurt his feelings?Should I just let go and enjoy it - (I really did enjoy it)?Is it important for him to be able to reciprocate my actions?General advice on the situation...?Please advise! Thanks for all advice :)
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female
reader, bad romaance  +, writes (28 April 2010):
 Hey maybe we could help eachother, i seem to be in the opposite situation as you, my boyfriend fingers me but i am too nervous about giving him a hand job. pls mail me back or add me. thanks :) shauna x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you sooo much for all your advice, I'm finally able to reply (not having my internet connection sucked!)
I spoke to him and told him that i really really really enjoyed it but am not ready for it.
And he seems to be respecting it...
Thank you all soo sooo sooo much!
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you soo much - Am seeing him tonight - will let you know how it goes :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): It is important for the man to be able to give back, but if you talk to him I am sure you will find other ways he can "repay" the favour. Like he can treat you to special dinners or do romantics, give massages, have candle light dinner or something. Tell him like you told us, that you did enjoy it, but you are not ready. Offer something else for him to do that you really enjoy instead.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (13 April 2010):
 Since you've been honest with each other in the past I would definately tell him that you liked it but you are still unsure. Yes he will be wanting to reciprocate your actions because him having all the fun will make him feel selfish. Just keep talking and whatever you do be safe.
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