A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been fooling around with a guy. We're close friends. He's told me wants a relationship but I've mad it clear from the start that it won't happen and that I just don't want to get into anything that deep with anyone again. He's happy with what we have as casual play buddies but that's all we do, as many times i've suggested either sober or drunk he just won't. He tells me he wants to but he never does actually have sex with me. He'll go as far to put a condom on but never has sex with me. What's going on. Does he not want to at all and why? I'm confused by his actions.
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female
reader, ffogalilly +, writes (6 October 2009):
Holy Crap! I think that you're going through the same thing as me.
Stick to your guns, and protect your emotions, its what I have had to do, because we broke it off a couple of weeks ago and jumped back into the bed on Saturday. I am just to the point where I don't care anymore. I have no idea what he wants, we play the ignoring each other game when we don't see one another.
Your guy has shaky feelings, I think mine does to, but I have done the moping game over him and that is over.
A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (6 October 2009):
 He wants a relationship. Not all boys/men are able to engage sexually without the promise of something more. He may be willing in his heart to take whatever he can get from you, and may hope that sex leads to more, but his penis (subconscious mind) may not want to be used for sex.
If you don't want anything serious with anyone right now, that's great. It's even better that you have been honest with him about it in an attempt not to toy with his emotions. However, engaging sexually with him while he feels this way may not be healthy for him.
Perhaps you should discuss this with him. You may have to be the one who safe-guards his emotions because I do not think he is doing a great job right now.
Good luck.
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