A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a boyfriend of a year and half. I absolutely love him. I live with him already and it is going great. It hasn't messed up our relationship at all. The thing is I have to switch schools to get the BS I am trying to get and I have two options. One of the schools doesn't have a greek system while the other one does. I really want to rush and I didn't want to rush at the school i'm currently going to because I knew I was tranferring to another program I just needed to get my prerequisites done. So I want to go to the school with a greek system because I still have a year to finish my prerequisites and want to rush there so I know people on that campus...i'm going to be on that campus for 3 more years. The other option I have is to finish my prerequisites at my current college and just transfer to the college without a greek system. The reason i'm explaining all of this is because my bf is in school. I want to go to the college with a greek system but he wouldn't be able to move there until a year after i'm there. I just want to get to know people and have people to hang out with on campus where ever I go and I think rushing would help that. My question is what do ya'll think I should do? It's a major decision and I just want ideas and opinions. I love him to death and I don't want to make a mistake and I don't want to regret anything. I've already made too many mistakes in my life and I don't want to add one more to my list. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, sillygooseegg26 +, writes (28 January 2010):
It's not that I am choosing between him or a sorority. It is whether or not I want to go to another campus and meet people there while I wait for him to finish his schooling or just wait for him here and then just move with him whenever he finishes what he's trying to do. I would just work and go to school if I stayed here. If I moved I would rush and continue the same schooling as I would here. I just don't know if leaving him for a year is a good idea. As in I don't know if that is too stressful for the both of us to go through.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (22 January 2010):
 OK, I'm an idiot. At least I don't have to claim I'm making GS 13 wage scale at 23, to back up my advice.
FA
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2010): Whoever said your relationship isn't too deep yet is an idiot. Who is he to say where you are at in life.
I'm 23 years old. Went 2 years to a community college and choose to stay with my gf over going to a 4 year school. Went to school online got a BA and am now working as a federal agent with the department of homeland security making over 85,000 USD a year.
And yes, I am currently engaged to the same girl. If your heart tells you this man is right for you; respectful loving kind treats you like you are the greatest thing in the world then he's worth waiting a year for. Or still meeting your educational goals but in a different way.
If he's just a boyfriend and don't see your future with him; then persue what you really want.
Either way it's just one year before he can go up there with you. That's not too long of a time. But you can meet so many new boys in one year and he can meet new girls. Distance puts a strain on any relationship. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2010): You are an adult in my eyes and capable of being in a deep relationship, unlike what others posted here. People experience choices and dilemmas at all stages of life. Many others on here ask for what to do in situations similar to this one, and they are both older and very serious. So I wouldn't listen to any who calls your relationship shallow. Only you know how serious you are about this relationship. I dont understand what a "greek system" is, but I have too been wondering what choices to make in life about education and love. I think that you have to go with what feels right to you. Your heart says: stay with the boyfriend, your mind says: focus on yourself and education. Are there any third options? When I was making my decisions about where to study, I soon discovered that many more opportunities arose shortly after I thought I had decided, so I kept on being undecisive. You should make sure you have all facts on the table. For example: can you not transfer to this other school in a years time? Is this school really offering you what you need, aside form the greek system? Are there any third schools that could be better fitting for both of your wishes? And last: what would happen if you go to the school with the greek system, and it ends up not making you happy? That the greek system wasn't as great as you thought or something? What other good things are there about this place?
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (21 January 2010):
So, do you think of this as a choice between him and the sorority? If so, your relationship with him is not that deep, and you probably shouldn't be living together. What I see he is primarily a conflict in your subconscious mind. Part of you wants to be grown up and act like you are married. Part of you wants to be in high school, hanging out with your friends Dating who you want to. Free and uncommitted. Now from the other side of forty I would say, Live it up be young. There is only a decade or so that you can get away with that. After that you are old until you are dead.
On the other hand, if you are dead set on keeping him, then you don't have time for school, a husband, work (?), and a sorority. So if that is the case go to the less exciting school and concentrate on the most important things.
FA
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