A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I need some good tips to get over someone. Stop thinking about them and wanting to contact them. As I really want to forget this man!!!!! I'm in mid 30's and met a guy 5 years younger then me. His gorgeous and successful and told me straight out doesn't want a relationship. But I grew close to him and in the few months I've fallen madly for him. He doesn't want to be with me and his noo good for me. Too be honest he makes me feel bad about myself. His always talking about being with skinny women and makes me think I'm fat! Or tells me I'm attractive but his ultimately looking for someone stunning when settles down. His being honest. But makes me feel shit. He only sees me when he wants to. Once a month maybe....he won't invite me to meet his friends or if has party etc. He is lovely when sees me and he told me he loved me last week. But nothing changes and when we first started he met my friends and wanted me to meet his and called me everyday! Since then his life has become great. Got new job, new house and seems to have gone cold. It makes me feel shit. How perfect his life is..I have no job.trying to get one. But every interview I go on, I don't get the job... 6 it's been so far. I'm living in tiny room with s friend and trying to get life together and realise that this good looking successful man is not helping me. His basically doesn't want me. Made me feel like not good enough and suddenly now his life is perfect he doesn't want me. His even said he hopes to date women in his new job and has moved a model into his flat. I just miss him... Silly I know. But I want to see him. Speak to him! So I need advice on how to get over this no good man and get my life back.
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male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (5 July 2011):
 This happens a lot -- it seems like we always fall for someone who is unavailable or just plain "wrong" for us.
I think you are halfway there in solving your problem -- because you realized there is an issue. Now the hard part is doing something about it and being strong.
First off, face reality.
While this man may be successful and good looking, he doesn't put you first. Why would you settle for someone like that? That doesn't sound like the self-assured, confident woman that I bet you are.
Take a moment and imagine what you do want out of a man. Sure this guy may have some of the attributes, but definitely NOT all of them. Remind yourself that you have put this man on a pedestal and see him walking on water, but in reality he is really a shallow imitation of the real thing.
Be patient: It takes time and you may backslide, but I really hope you look at this as a lesson: When a guy says he isn't interested in a relationship, he means it and you shouldn't waste any time on him.
Secondly, I recommend getting out there and find someone new. Enlist your friends help. Join a gym. Get out and enjoy life with our people. You won't find a someone special unless you live life. Bolster your self-esteem and become self-confident that you deserve someone who is going to treat you as the most important thing in his life.
And don't settle for anything less.
Best wishes and eventually it does get better.
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