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I need my wife to show me that she loves me, I can't do it all alone!

Tagged as: Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 December 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 23 December 2010)
A male United States age 41-50, *limex writes:

Well I have been married to my wife for a little less than a year now and we can't seem to get along, we constantly argue and can't have a decent conversation with having it turn into a huge argument later. We had been a couple for 7years before we decided to get married and move in together I was so happy and excited that I was finally moving in with the woman I loved. The first months I started to see that she was a whole lot messier than I was and we had different homing habits. I cook all the time, I dint mind cooking because I love to do it but then again it will feel very nice for my wife to cook me at least two meals a week, that's not too much to ask is it? I iron for myself, I do my own lawndry I clean the house and wash the dishes every night.. I am all for equality and doing everything halfers but I end up doing everything myself and frankly I'm reaching my limit and getting fee up. I love her so much, sometimes I randomly bring her flowers, chocolates or just a lil gift to show that I think about her all the time. Not once have I received a nice gesture that way and it makes me feel bad when I think about it. I have approached her about this problem and she just responds that she works too much and doesn have time for all that, then ends up getting mad and we never finish that talk. The truth is she does work allot about 48 hours a week but I work about 50-60 hours a week and I still manage to do those things, I'm running out of ideas and although I love my wife I need her to show me she loves me and I can't be doing everything for this marriage..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2010):

Sometimes being too nice can make a woman not want too be with some one some of them simply like a challenge

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A male reader, Blimex United States +, writes (22 December 2010):

Blimex is verified as being by the original poster of the question

We take our cars to get washed all the time, we find it a whole lot easier. We do make some decent money. The housekeeper thing seems like a good idea but I don't see it all that necessary due to the fact there's only two of us and how messy can it really get really! Ithink if we just picked up after ourselves well do fine! And now that you mention it the get away things is an awesome idea that sounds like something we need, just to get away from all obligation for a short time and spend it together talking about everything..

Thanks...

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (22 December 2010):

YouWish agony auntHmmm, if you're both working 48-60 hours a week, you've gotta be making some decent money. Why the hell don't you hire outside help for some of the chores? It's not like she's sitting at home eating bon bons! Get a housekeeper in once a week and maybe have a cook come in as well. That's a new trend, btw, to have someone come in and cook for you.

If you free up some time for you both, there's more time for romance and feelings for each other. Don't let yourselves get buried in the chores, especially if you're both working your brains out and making decent money!

As for the other stuff, you're being romantic with flowers and all that, and that's great! She might feel like she's fulfilling her side of the romance by meeting your physical needs. You might want to get her away from the grind, take her out to dinner (away from the house and the mundane arguments about housework) and talk about your feelings for each other. She may surprise you!

I would feel a LOT different if you were working 60 hours per week and she wasn't working ar all, but it sounds like she's cranking out the hours same as you. Who the hell SAYS that you have to do the housework? Do you wash your own car, or do you take it to the car wash???

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