A
male
age
30-35,
*erek B
writes:I've never asked a girl out on a date in my entire life. I've asked a girl to dance two times in my life, the first time when I was thirteen, the second when I was fifteen. I've never been particurally confident, since I've always been a little overweight (recently I've gotten a good bit thinner, though I'm still a slightly overweight). Its kind of hard to feel confident when your picked on a lot as a little kid. Anyway, the first time I asked a girl to dance was at a weeklong sleepaway summer camp, I figured since nobody there knew me, it wouldn't be a big deal to get rejected. She said no, and when I walked away I heard her and some friends laughing. I waited two years after that before trying again, this time when my class was on a 2 day trip to D.C. I asked the second girl at a dance my school had for us while we were down there. She said yes, which is great, right? Well, it would've been, if she didn't say that she was just going to take a break for a while, and we'd dance later. She never came back, nor could I find her anywhere. It's also kind of hard to be confident when you have had absolutely no success with girls, especially when your at the time in your life that I am, and nearly everybody else has. I am now eighteen years old, haven't ever been on a date, been kissed, had a girlfriend, etc. I stopped going to school dances altogether as a sophomore. For my junior prom I went with a freshman girl who is good friends with my little brother, I'm pretty sure he asked her to go with me. I don't even have any close friends that are girls. I'm not one of those weird guys that plays pokemon at lunch or anything, I'm mostly just a normal guy. The only things out of the ordinary about me are that I am pretty smart and that my parents are millionaires, and I dont see how these would be hurting me. I am just so tired of being alone of the time. I'm so tired of seeing girls I like going out with guys who don't care about them and are just pricks in general. I've spent the past eighteen years of my life missing out on so much, and I just feel so goddamn depressed. How am I supposed to solve this, when I can't even bring myself to ask a girl to dance. It's not like when a girl starts to talk to me I sputter and start to drool, I handle myself just fine in ordinary conversation, its the romance/flirting aspect that eludes me (not to say that I'm not a romantic, because I absolutely am...or at least would be, if I had a chance to show it.) In fact, the whole "party scene" in general eludes me. My best friend since the first grade is a big time partier, but I've never felt comortable at parties/social gatherings, mostly because of my problems with girls. He used to invite me to come to them with him, and still tries to get me to go on occasion, but has essentially given up at this point. I'm going to a pretty prestigious college near Boston starting this September, and I want to feel more confident in myself and be more normal. Hopefully, if you took the time to read this ridiculously long question/self reflection of mine, you might be willing to shed some light on my problem for me, I'd appreciate it.
View related questions:
a break, best friend, depressed, overweight Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2010): Well first let me say that most men feel nervous to invite girls out so you are not alone. You may imagine that others are having more success than you but if you but that is not necessarily the case. You have had some successes, getting someone to dance, going to the prom, and these girls did not have to say yes.Girls want just as much as boys to be accepted and have the same kind of insecurities, although they don't have to put themselves on the line as much.Don't be put off if someone seems to reject you, just carry on till someone says yes. And remember that if someone is horrible to you after you have tried, then maybe you don't want them anyway.You could try some self-help books or internet sites for tips.Try to be yourself. If parties aren't your thing, try meeting girls some other way. You may like to talk to someone on a dating site. Sometimes it is easier to open up that way and there is no obligation to meet them. You could find you get an insight into how women tick.I hope you get on well!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2010): Well done that you managed to ask 2 girls to dance with you. The first time was unfortunate, but the second time well done you!
If you have the courage to ask a girl to dance, then you have the courage to ask a girl out. You just need to find someone who you feel comfortable with and have a good connection with.
Maybe say to your best friend how you are feeling? Maybe he could set you up with someone? Next time your friend asks you out to a party, say yes! Parties are an excellent way to meeting new people, not to mention having a good time with your friends. Talk to some girls and see how it goes from there. Don't worry, we're not aliens, we're nice people really :)
Also, be comfortable and happy with who you are. It helps :)
Good luck xo
...............................
A
female
reader, sweetsiepie  +, writes (2 July 2010):
 hey hunny the 1st thing that girls like is confidence ur gonna have so many knock backs in life but get back on that horse and try again the right girl is out there and you might find her at college you never no so hunny look at yourself in the mirror you might think its silly but look in the mirror and sat to yourself i am confident girls will like me and say it each time you look in the mirror you'll find your condifence should build and just start talkin to girls more hope this helps x
...............................
|
