A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i dont know how to explain all this without it getting confusing, but ill try my best.when i was growing up, my mum and my half sister/dads daughter never really got on , and anytime there was an argument, my dad would cut me out and ignore my mum, sticking by his daughters side.i spent my whole life growing up with this.one night when my mum kicked me out over a row, my dad offered for me to stay at his daughters, she agreed it was fine ,we all talked that day about how i was a seperate person than my mum and that i shouldnt of been stuck in the middle of it all.but things didnt change much, anytime they had a row, i got the moaning and grief off my dad.so we have never really been that close.but recently he was ill, and his daughter knew about it , she didnt tell me or my mum, i called round and told him he didnt look too good, he told me he had had food poisoning, i went back and told my mum.the next day, my mum rang me saying it wasnt food poisoning, but that it could be his appendix as she had quizzed him about it , and he was meant to of gone to hospital with her that morning to get it seen to, but once he spoke to his other daughter, all plans were cancelled and he wouldnt go to the hospital, i didnt find out until my mum rang me that night to say what might be wrong with him,instantly i went round there and screamed and shouted till he agreed to go .i waited with him until they had sorted everything out, they kept him in 4days and i went up to see him everyday,the nurse told me his appendix had already burst and if he had been left any longer, he could of died.he was let out yesterday, but he has gone to stay at his daughters, who had a blazing row with with my cause my mum asked why didnt she tell anyone he was ill, least of all not me , and if it was her mother, would she of dissmissed it as easily, his daughter went mad at my mum, caused a huge scene and all.an hour later i got a call off my dad saying for me not to bother going to see him .so i called round to find out why exactly after all this , it was my fault ,that i couldnt go round?what i want to know the most is how he can stick up for that 'female dog' who was happy to unknowingly let him die?and why can he not see that its not my fault that they dont get on?it broke my heart to find out that he could of died and i wanted to make an extra effort to spend more time with him cause hes gonna be gone one day , but now i cant cause of her....(she thinks/does have the upper hand as she sees more of him , but she doesnt work , i balancing three jobs so i barely get time for my self?)how can i make him see sense, or do i just not bother?i really cant take anymore emotional stress at the mo ....how do i get all this to just be over with? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthats a very optimistic view, and maybe a very true one,
it may well work out that way :D
xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): If you stay away from him, he might realize that hes lost you and might want you back - even if it does affect his 'male ego'.
**Huggliee!!**
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionawwr gecko *hug* you tried your best from the start...theres nothin anyone apart from the two selfish ppl can do ......but thank you so much for your support xxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): Awww I'm so sorry I couldn't make this any easier for you...
This time next year you'll be happier I promise you. I suggest you talk to your mum or other family members about it. See if they can help you or support you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question*****Remember that one day he will die, and you might think you've wasted time you could've had with him*****8
thats the one thing that has been driving me mad gecko....
i realised that its gonna be some day soon cause he aint gettin any younger, but , i have treid my best , he doesnt want to know , hes left me in s**T street with a few finances that he was meant to sort out for me , and not batting an eye lid as far as i know ...so .... im just gonna take wot strength i have left after all this and just go from there .....
thanks guys xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008): Yeah your mums probably right about him having a hold on you. Anyones got a hold on someone if the other person cares about them. Thats why partners can mess the other one around for a bit.
Until of course they've had enough and dump them.
Again if your happy doing that, and I probably would too, just not have anything to do with it thats fine. Remember that one day he will die, and you might think you've wasted time you could've had with him. If you have tried your best now, and put as much effort possibly into it, then it won't down as bad surely?!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questiongotta clarify this one ...sorry...its not his wife, its my half sister lol...had to point that one out cause its so much worse ...if it was his new wife i could understand it all to easily lol,but its not so much as being able to do it guilt free,or with out being attatched, i think i need to just be selfish till i get ovwer it ..i think?but my mum saud to me that he has a hold over me more than any of my brothers or sisters cause im the only one that actually cares about him and thinks something of him, they never bother with him, apart from the one thats helping to cause/encourage all these problems, and thats only when she wants money or somthing ....the best part is shes almost twice my age and she acting like a 5 year old....oh well, guess ill have to get a pupy to focus my attention on , an get a pet rat and name it after my sister lol cheers for advice ..... buts ,me gonnas have to do the rest on my owns now :(with my new pets of course lol :D xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2008): Because he's not your ex-boyfriend maybe...He's your dad. Your designed to care about him. Your forced to by the fact he gave you life.To be fair, I'm glad your doing that. I wish I could but I'm too young. If you can get over him without feeling guilty or attached, fantastic.He sounds a bit deluded, along with his wife but that might just be the way you presented them. Because of course the opinion is going to be one sided.Then again its a one-sided problem...As I said, I am glad you are able to get over him if thats what you want to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your answers guys, they did help a bit , but , ive decided to just forget him,
deleted his numbers , i cant be assed gettin worked up over him , if he was my ex/boyfriend i would of told him to f**k off straight away , so i dont see why i should treat this any differently lol
thanks again lol xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2008): Awww try not to let yourself get worked up about it.I did wonder whether your step-sister would start opening letters.A piece of advice someone close to me helped a little bit:If your worrying about something, think what you can do about it. If you can do something about it, quite simply do it, and do it, and do it. If you can't do anything about it, then don't worry about it because there is nothing you can do.This situation IS holding your life back. There is, again, so much you can do. Just keep trying but when all hope is dead and gone, move on with your life, because thats the point where you can't do anything about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your answers.
i tried calling him to go round and see him,and to find out when she wasnt there,but he just cancelled the call and turned off his phone. great start.
i thought all this may have changed aver the years, i mean im 23 now ,but still any time my mum said anything to her, even when i had moved almost 100 miles away , he was still haveing a go at me over it .
i think aslong he is staying with her, iv got no chance to even speak to him , any letters i write will be opened by her, if they even get opened at all.
its stupid. i cant understand how either of them could do this with out any remorse at all.
the only way i can write a letter and be tottaly sure he gets it not her, is when hes gone back home, and its gonna kill me having to wait that long.....guess im going to have to wait though .....
thanks again for your answers and your help, itll get me through the next few days at least xxxxx !!
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female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (2 July 2008):
 What a sad situation to be in. Keep visiting him, try and go when she is not around. Dont get into a fight with her, walk away, he is your dad too and its the arguing that seems to be the main problem here. Dont allow yourself to get drawn in and dont talk about her or your mother to your father, keep it about you and him.
It may be that your dad and his other daughter feel she has been pushed out by you and your mum over the years, Im not saying that its true though. Your dad had the chance to make sure that both of his daughters were equally important to him but it seems to you that he has favoured her all the time.
He may never explain to you why he has treated you this way, he may not even know himself but all of you are unhappy with this situation.
if you are constanly rejected and not allowed to see him even if you try then stop trying and wait. See if he will contact you eventually. As hard as this will be to do it may be the only solution, it may mean you will not get to see him at all but you cannot be made to feel this way throughout your life and sometimes cutting our losses is the only solution. I wish you happiness x
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2008): I'll start off with saying how sorry I am. I know Diovan Lestat will throw a hissy-fit at your dad if she answers this question.You saved his life, you should feel very happy about that. Very happy. And you really have the upper-hand because your the only reason hes still here, not her. She just wants to sit around and do nothingNow to end this you have to be pretty strong with yourself, and be strong against you dad. It's possible that he won't ever see sense, but at the same time its possible that hes actually very grateful but just doesn't want to show it.You have to find out which one.I suggest you have to go round there and find out whats what. Tell him that you want to spend more time with him because you don't know how much time you've got left together - 'together'.Say everything you have to, but if he still can't see sense, write a letter to him. Still not working?! Then he obviously can't see sense. You could keep trying but obviously theres a limit to how much you can try.You could talk to your mum about it?! Confide in her. Read other comments. Good luck,,
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (2 July 2008):
You saved his life, he still doesn't care.
No matter how much you keep trying, he's never going to be the dad you want.
I'd just cut your losses and move on. Write him a letter explaining it all and tell him you just can't carry on like this for your own sanity, so you are not going to contact him again. Letters can't turn into screaming matches so you know you can get your points across.
Hopefully he will contact you and try and make it up to you, but if he doesn't then you still have your mum.
Go and find your own way in the world, because all this is just holding you back from putting all your energies into achieving what ever you want to in life.
Good Luck!! xx
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