A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I were together for close to five years. About 3 years in, after living together for a year, she broke up with me and decided to move out.She said she'd lost that spark and felt like I was taking her for granted. It completely devastated me - I was terribly sad for months.Soon after the breakup, though, she contacted me in tears and said she was thinking about me and how much she missed me.We slowly started hanging out again, and after several months of casually hanging out, we started dating again. It was always a strange situation because this time we lived apart and we were both hesitant to jump fully back into a relationship.But, I always loved her with all my heart and really thought we were going to find a way to make it work out - I thought we were on a good, slow, calculated track and were really going to make things work this time.But about a month ago, she broke up with me again. Once again, I feel totally lost. She cited the "taken for granted" thing again - and as much as I tried to explain how I always appreciated her and everything she does, she said that wouldn't cut it because I'm not great at SHOWING her that I feel that way.I admit that I might be absent-minded sometimes about stuff like that, but I love this girl with everything I have, and I want nothing more than the opportunity to really prove how much she means to me. When we broke up, I could tell she wasn't 100% sure about it, but it seemed like she'd convinced herself that was the right thing to do and she was going to go through with it. She said she still loves me very much.I explained to her that I'm learning... that we're BOTH learning, but let's learn together and stick through it together because we're so much in love and because so much is right about our relationship.I tried to explain that I don't want to have to take what I've learned and apply it to a new relationship - and that I can't see loving anyone else like I love her in my entire life ...But it seems that, for now, this is what she wants. I haven't talked to her in almost a month and I think about calling her all the time. Maybe it's best to just leave it be... but how can I just sit here and leave it be when I feel like I have an amazing person slipping away?Sure, it's her decision, and this is what she WANTS, but it's almost like I want to talk some sense into her - I feel like we're right on that line of being able to make this work, if only she'd give me one more chance.I feel genuinely awakened by this whole thing, and like I've realized what it truly takes to be in a working relationship - I have such a hard time accepting that this is really it for us.Any thoughts?
View related questions:
broke up, spark Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, amyxavier  +, writes (24 October 2010):
contacat her and tell her exactly how u feel i have been the girl in this relationship and she is crying out for your love and attention she wants you to go and present your undying love to her she is holding back to see how much you love her but life is too short if you love her the way you say you do then ask her if you can try one last time if she rejects you and turns u down (which i very much doubt )at least u know u have tried one last time and then u can try to move on with your life your ex loves you and for her to tell you she feels like shes been taken for gramnted shows that she needs more romance and attention and just noticing little things that she does for you even down to maybe washing up a dinner plate that u have left in the sink women notice every thing wheras men tend to not see little things like that good lick i really hope things work out for u
A
male
reader, corbandallas  +, writes (24 October 2010):
Hi there, I'm dealing with something sorta similar to this. I was told that she knows that I care about her, but that I don't act like it. She won't talk to me anymore. I'm not quite sure what you can do. Like you I'm doing everything I can to not pick up the phone and call. I want to let go, but am finding it incredibly difficult.
Keep us posted as to what happens. Sorry I couldn't be of any help.
...............................
|
