| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Met a nice guy but a month into the relationship he tells me he can't father children due to medical reasons. I'm not sure whether to continue the relationship, am i being selfish? I would love my own children.
View related questions:
want children Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008): I am in the same situation but me and my bf have been together 3 years...i want to marry him and have kids but he cant...he wants kids too i really dont know what to do...but for your advice i would not break it off unless your hearts certain
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (27 July 2006):
 You can still have children with donor sperm, you know. They're 'your own', just as children with this man would be.
The real issue is whether he'd like to have children too. Maybe he can't be a biological father, but he can still be a great Dad!
You missed an opportunity to talk with him about it, even obliquely, when he brought up the subject himself, but you do need to discuss it.
That he may be sterile is a non-issue, if he wants children, too, and would be willing to accept yours. It's not a breakupable offense to have non-functional testes, for heaven's sake!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2006): Yes, you should consider ending it before you both get too emotionally attached. And no, you most definitely are not being selfish. How can wanting a beautiful family in your future be selfish? Most of us want that. You've both been honest and you see children in your future...he doesn't. This is a big issue and a vast, wide difference in values.
You would be very, very wise to end it asap.
...............................
A
female
reader, DEBS83  +, writes (27 July 2006):
 hi this is a hard one i can only say i have been in the same boat i would say think wat you really want there is a lot of help ure bf can get i can understand wat you are feeling i met a bloke he told me he cunt hv kids but i stayed wth him as i loved him i thote that was a good idea but as the years went past and my child from a previs realtionship grew up i relised i wanted more kids and i resented my ex for it we are no longer together so just think abt wat u really want hope it wrks out 4 u
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (27 July 2006):
 Well if you really desire to have your own children then you will end up feeling unhappy and maybe even resentful of your partner if he can't provide you with them. If adoption just won't cut it for you I guess you better walk before you spent anymore time on this relationship.
...............................
|
