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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been divorced from my ex-husband for 6 years. I have now know him 21 years. (Since teens) We have two sons together. The problem is that right after we got divorced I got into a rebound relationship and have now been married for 5 years. My husband is good to me but controlling sometimes. He cannot give me any children, and I desperately want more children. I have always still loved my ex, and he still loves me and wants me back. I have been secretly talking to him and I feel very guilty. I just recently confessed to my husband during an argument my considering getting back with my ex. He was hurt, but he still wants to make it work between us. Help! I don't know what to do. My heart is with my ex, even though I don't know if he's really changed or not. I don't want to end up ten years from now regretting not giving this another chance.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2005): I think you know what to do deep down (go back to your ex), but you don't want to hurt your current husband. Love is so hard, but this is why having a rebound turns to crap most of the time because you didn't let yourself grieve and think. Your also terrified of making the wrong decision and losing someone that was specical which they both are in there own way, but your ex and you will always have an unbreakable bond which will always be a struggle to overcome unless A: you get back with him or B) lose all contact with him for a few months or forever and try your best to mend your current relationship or C) Go away on holiday/visit family and take a break from both of them for a while to clear your mind. But I think you know the answer you just have to get the guts to go with it.
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