A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey..Ok so my boyfriend n me have been together for 6 months, and the first 5 months were just amazing. he was doing all the chasing just like i wanted! until that stopped. i mean, he was always the one calling n texting me first, always initiating communication. then, he stopped doing that. so when we talked about it, he said he would like if i would initiate communication too, it shouldn't always have to be him. so i came up with a "rule" that we should have turns, one day i would initiate communication, next day he would and so on. this started on friday, we talked about it on thursday. and i volunteered to take my "turn" first, so friday i took my turn, saturday he took his, sunday i took my turn, and monday nothing! so when we met online that night (also quite a usual practice) i asked him why he didn't take his turn, and he said he had been busy all day. i said busy is not acceptable and that now the next day will be his turn. he said no it should still be my turn! and that i shouldn't cry over spilt milk and that i should take my turn. this happened when we were sayin goodnite and his laptop battery was low (he had told me) so after he said no, i said he is being mean, and that he should talk his turn. he said hmm and sent a smile and said bye and that was it. the rest of the conversation that night he behaved quite normal, said goodnight in the same sweet way he always does. i don't understand why he would say that? and i don't know whether i should take it as my turn today just because that is what he wants? he is always doing stuff just because it is what i want. he always listens to me about everything! seriously, everything! so i was thinking MAYBE he has realised that we always do what i want, and he wants me to listen to him for a change and that is the only reason he is saying it should be my turn? i don't know! i'm quite confused.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyea i know it's silly to have rules.. today he contacted me just like i said he should, which was real sweet of him. the rule is there only because otherwise i'm always thinking he should n he is always thinking that i should n then none of us do! so i thought its the most hasslefree thing to have the rule.
A
female
reader, LauraE  +, writes (28 August 2007):
A good relationship isn’t about sticking to silly rules like this. He made all the running at first, and then it tailed off, which is to be expected. By that time, you are supposed to have lightened up enough to feel comfortable calling each other when you want to. A really quick way to spoil a relationship is to suffocate it with unnecessary rules. Call him today (doesn’t matter whose turn it is), and tell him he can call whenever he likes, and you will do the same.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (28 August 2007):
 I totally agree with Stina, rules are made to be broken so ditch the rule and get on with your relationship call each other when you want to talk and don't run your relationship by a timetable.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (28 August 2007):
 Hi Anonymous,
Why do you have to take turns? Why don't you just call each other when you each feel like talking or getting together? Sorry, but I don't get it. I don't really think your boyfriend understands, either. Relationships are supposed to be about equality, in all respects.
My advice to you is to get rid of the "it's your turn to call me" rule and just start calling your boyfriend. Don't you think he'd like to feel needed, too? I don't think you can blame him for not wanting to chase his own girlfriend for half of the year.
Ease up a bit. Take care.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (28 August 2007):
 Hi,
Sounds to me like he is giving you a taste of your own medicine and getting you to do the running. Will you put up with it like he did though!! now thats the real question.
Good luck XX
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