A
female
age
41-50,
*oke50
writes:I've been married for 11yrs.I love my husband,but I'm totally in love with my best friend. we've been together since 2nd grade.We r just made for each other. We see each other offten and talk everyday.I just don't know how 2 be without him.Do anyone have advice.
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (17 December 2009):
 Re read your original question, and then come back and tell us what you meant by it.
Did everybody miss read your question? Exactly what is it you are seeking advice on if not on your original post?
A
female
reader, soke50 +, writes (17 December 2009):
soke50 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionjust forget it.I was looking for advice not ridicule. Guess this ain't the sight for me. that's why the world is the way it is now because everything has to be about sex. thanks but no thanks.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009): Be honest with your husband about your thoughts. Listen to what he has to say and do not justify your thoughts but just listen to him maybe it'll help you decide what your next step will be. Don't make a hasty decision without talking to your husband about the real situation and do not sugar coat it, just be honest. Think back to why you decided to marry your husband. Try not to prolong this process and feel torn, life is about trial and error so live happy and listen to your heart. Marriage and love should be about the quality and not the quantity. It doesn't matter how long you've been with someone, it only matters when you're truly happy because if you're not excited to be with your husband, you'll eventually show it subconsciously. Good Luck :-)
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A
female
reader, soke50 +, writes (17 December 2009):
soke50 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI heard a lot of opinions and thanks. I don't have a sexual relationship with him. He's my best friend whom which I happen to love. He's been there for everything.My husband is a great man and he takes care of he and I very well.He's not I want to hear your problems type of person.Some very bad things has happen to me throughout my life and I see a therapist for that. I love him like a brother,father when I need one and spiritual advisor in the wee hours. that's the kind of love that i'm talking about.I couldn't marry him that's like me marrying my brother. The thing that gets me is the speculations that we must be lovers is crazy. My husband knows about him. He's my husband barber. It's just that people can be so cruel when they don't want to understand just want to cause a misunderstanding. I just want to make sure that i'm not wrong because I don't feel that.I'm in love with my best friend.
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A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (16 December 2009):
 emotion and feeling are not stable, it is not even trust worthy. It is good to save 'husband-wife' relationship. You can share friendship or even sexual relationship without much feeling. Sex is first with which mind is usually related, but when we come down to human relationship, then problem became complicated, divorce and hurting etc...
If you feel sex is most important thing in your life, then you can discuss with your husband if he is also have same attachment with 'sex'...then everything become possible. But, you must be firm enough to separate sex from relation, as sex is universal, where as relationship is Individualized form of universal.
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A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (16 December 2009):
 You need to end it. Either the marriage or the friendship. I am not saying that men and women cannot be friends. I am saying that what you are doing can be characterized as an emotional affair. Don't string your husband along. How would you feel if he were as close as you are to his best female friend from 2nd grade? If you answer that it wouldn't bother you, your marriage too far removed from saving.
Jeff
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (16 December 2009):
Honestly now, where was your brain when you decided to marry some poor sap when the love of your life had been with you since 2nd grade?
What's the story, were you sleepwalking when you made your marriage vows, did somebody hold a gun to your head, were you sufferening depression and zonked out on medication?
what's the story?
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (16 December 2009):
 Can you just remain best friends without complications, such as wanting intimacy? If not, your marriage may prove increasingly difficult. What do YOU plan to do?
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