A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year and I love him very much, but I'm not happy with our sex life. When we first started dating he was really hot for me and couldn't get enough of me, but it has tapered off drastically. We have sex maybe once per week and when we do it just leaves me frustrated. Because of the infrequency of our sessions I have a really hard time orgasming (it's kind of use it or lose it with me). When we do have sex, he orgasms righ away and I can't, so we're both left kind of disappointed. I've talked to him about it before and it was better for a while, but now it's back to the way it was. I feel like there is no point in talking about it because one, it's just going to improve for a bit and then get bad again and two, I don't want him to force himself to have sex with me just to keep me happy. I want him to want it and me.I'm not sure what to do. I don't want a sexless, passionless relationship. To me that's just a friendship that you have to work way harder at. But I love him and want it to work.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (15 April 2013):
 You really need to talk to him about this.
Let him know YOU desire him and miss the fantastic sex you two had in the beginning.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 April 2013):
 You said yourself, it wont change. It changes maybe for a short period, and then it goes back to the way it was. So talking about it doesn't help.
And you don't want to settle for this, you're frustrated, and left unsatisfied. And who can blame you, anyone in your position would feel the same. It sucks to be in that position. I was in a relationship once where it wasn't even half as bad, and I was frustrated and left feeling unwanted and rejected and to feel ashamed that I had needs. He'd just flop over and say it was too much work. So couldn't be bothered.
Well there is only one way for you to be happy: you need to end the relationship. It's only been one year, you haven't invested your life in this man, you don't have children, you're not married. Leaving him isn't that hard. You're just not compatible! If he was the type to yell and scream at you you'd have no difficulty breaking up. So why is it so difficult now? Isn't it better to end things on good terms, than wait until a huge fight breaks out and you say things you will regret, hurt each other, or worse: get tempted by another man and cheat?
You're not happy with this, and there is no way things are going to change. So, you need to end the relationship, or stay where you are, unsatisfied, unhappy, and growing more and more frustrated and in the end resent him. Your pick.
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