A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello guyz,have been dating this guy for a month now. He is so sweet,kind but a lil selfish. The problem is that he drinks too much and everything . He was drunk the other night and was verbal abusive,he said a lot of things and call me so many nasty names (bitch,slut etc) and the next day he was on his knees begging and buying gifts ,i love him but i cant stand him being abusive,two days before this we had a spat and he was still abusive (fuck you,i dont love you and shits like that)now i dont know what to do cuz he wont leave me alone and i still love him. We have talked about him not getting high but he stills gets high every time.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (26 September 2015):
 You are setting yourself up for more abuse by keep seeing this guy. He things a few pretty words and some "gifts" will excuse his behavior and all is forgiven, so this will become a pattern. He hasn't HIT you yet, but it wouldn't surprise me if he was capable of that too.
It's only.... ONLY... been a month, you don't LOVE him. You like who you "think" he is or who you "think" he can become and thus turn a blind eye to his abusive and nasty personality.
Apologizing the next day doesn't make his behavior OK. Buying you gifts doesn't make his behavior OK.
What you are seeing from him (as far as abusive behavior, drinking etc) is JUST the tip of the iceberg, the longer you spend time dating or knowing this guy... the worse he will treat you and the more likely YOU are to think it's normal - it is NOT normal. My guess is that you think all this drama equals passion or great love, IT DOESN'T - all it equal is abuse.
End it, let him go. Block his number, don't open the door if he shows up. Call the police if he starts making a scene at your home or elsewhere.
Drugs and drinking ARE more important to him than you are. So let him have his drinking and drugs and YOU move on to a guy who is more (WAY more)stable, respectful, kind and loving.
A
female
reader, Giovanna  +, writes (26 September 2015):
My Dear,
I'm sorry about your boyfriend being abusive, but you can't accept it! He's just starting to be rude sith you, and it can become wrost and wroste.
Before love him you have to love yourself and atribute to yourself a a high value. Don't sell your proud and your honor for golden rings, flowers or to a man who stay at the knees at morningh but can't respect you at night.
Remember, for most difficult that it can be, there aren't love without respect and the necessity of care about the other, and, baby, it definitely doesn't exists between you.
I guess you are very young and have a full life waiting for you, and there's a lot of gentlemen that can make you fall in love in just a minute. Don't miss it for a guy who can't give you the same care that you offered him.
I hope have helped you.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (25 September 2015):
 WHY.... spend even another hour with this drunk/abusive creature??? NO WOMAN should EVER have to put up with that....
Dump him... and get on with your life...
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (25 September 2015):
 You've been dating him for only a month, and he's treating you like this?? How can you love him after only one month, when it's clear that you don't really know him? You thinking you love him is most likely the noose around your own neck that will keep you overriding what your brain is very loudly telling you to do, and that's to leave him immediately before he gets your pregnant or hits you or gets really stalker-ish.
This guy is a restraining order waiting to happen. He has a drug/drinking problem, calls you horrible names, all in the FIRST MONTH, when even most other abusers are still trying to be charming.
The fact that "love" is even being talked about and thrown about this quickly should show you how much in trouble you're in with this guy. You CANNOT be so desperate as to know there are billions of other men out there who are infinitely better than this guy.
Don't let your age drive you to make a foolish choice in men. Don't settle for this one, because he absolutely will NEVER get better. He may attempt to put on a good face, but abuse always escalates. End it now, and stop talking about love when you can't possibly have put in the time to have anything more than infatuation and butterflies, which are NOT love. In his case, what you think is love is really manipulation.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2015): he has no respect for you or himself .The next time he starts calling you bitch tart etc tell him "Im calling the police!" If this escalates as i would expect it to dial the emergency number,but sister you could save the time and trouble by dropping him.Think of him as mentally unstable and get him out of your life because gifts mean nothing after broken bones.
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