A
female
age
41-50,
*aladriel
writes:i have been going out with a guy for about a year and a half now, suddenly an old friend of mine and i get back in contact but it turns out he is married and we fell in love with each other knowing we always had a special feeling from before.he told me that he is only with his wife in order to get the visa (she is french)and he wants to keep seeing me til he breaks up with her and i know for a fact that he is in love with me and he is coming in 2 weeks from france just to see me. we are talking about raising children later on and i do like him more than my boyfriend but i feel guilty..what do i do please help me.
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (29 May 2007):
 I think you need to stay away from both guys. Break up wiht your bf, he deserves better than this type of treatment, and forget the other guy too. He uses people for visas, and he will just use you too for other things, until he can move on to use someone else.
-FBK
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2007): Are you trying to hurt the people you care about? If what this guy says its true, let his wife. If he is such a man, he would leave his wife and go about his way. Why even get yourself in a situation like this? Everyone has common sense, obviously, people aren't using them.
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A
female
reader, candy00s  +, writes (28 May 2007):
 End things with your boyfriend now and reduce the risk of hurting him more than need be.
You both sound like you love each other and have deep feelings. Ask him not to marry for a visa - he will be deported if officials find out this is not a genuine marriage. Continue to talk and see how things go with one another.
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A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (28 May 2007):
 If it was a marraige based only on a visa, tell his wife about it. She should have no problem with it. She's probably dating herself.
DV1
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