A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been going out with this guy for about a year now. In the beginning things were good but weird. He was cheating on his girlfriend (at the time) with me. He did not tell me openly at first and we had already done "it". We continued to have sex for 2 months until he broke it off with this girl. The beginning was fun and we were so in love, he told me he loved me all the time. I took him home and he met my parents which was great and he loved it. I ended up living with him which was very hard for me. He said I complained to much that I didnt get enough time. After this I went back home. When I was at home I found out that he was asking these girls (girls he used to like and would always threaten me with) if they could hang out--giving them his number and all. He laughed about it and told me I was overreacting. Now, he never says I love you. I am always the one who says it to him and he says it like he doesnt care. He says that he doesnt need to tell me that he loves me all the time. We live in the same room but he sleeps on a different bed! I have to initiate everything! it makes me sad. Sometimes we end up having our clothes on during sex (well not all of it) because theres no intimacy I when im trying to do something he tells me has to go to sleep but ends up going on 'his' bed and watching t.v. He complains everything is messy but I clean up all the time and he is the one that messes it all up and never lifts a finger. He even tells me to take the trash out. He tells me his dream is to be president of his country and have all the women he wants. When I show dissapointment he says, "why, theres nothing wrong with that." Maybe we have a major cultural barrier. He's African (a male dominant, un-intimate, individual culture--well atleast his country) and I'm from a very intimate loving culture. But in the end, hes the one that makes me happiest and i still love him..what should i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your advice..hopefully we can solve this but it really feels like it is the end of the road..idk..i still have faith. thank you again
A
female
reader, kcrawford13 +, writes (8 November 2008):
Hey. I've had a few similar problems with my bf we've been dating about one 1/2 years and he used to tell me i said i love you too much. personally if i want to say it 20 times in 5 minutes he should be honored to say it back if hes as crazy about me as i want him to be. we eventually got over that issue and it doesnt bother him as much but there are times he doesnt say it back and quite frankly it bugs the hell out of me. im currently trying to figure out the way i want to word our break up tomorrow. If he has a problem with saying I love you , but said it a lot in the beginning I'd cut him lose. if you arent married or havent been dating for like 5 years i really think you two should be crazy about eachother still, but not just you.. he as well.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2008): I am sorry to say this man is a child and he is trying to do anything that can make you pissed off amd leave him.My advice for you is you search someone who deserves you and respects you and understands every sacrifice you do for him.He was cheating on his 1st girlfriend do not think he will not do that with you, sure he will, so instead of wasting time with him, search for someone eles and I am sure you will find real love.good luck
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