A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: What to do when love is the only thing holding you together? I love him. I want him in my life but that is not enough when we argue about the simple shit. He has a job that keeps him away all the time and that bugs me when he does not even check on me. He does not come home when he says that he will. He will not call but he will tweet~. I get upset at the things that I think are normal things to expect from a man that says that he wants a relationship with me. After almost 5 years he knows who I am and what I expect from us. What frustrates me is that he thinks I am trying to argue with him when that is the very last thing that I want. I feel that the difference in age and goals is what is causing us so much discord. I am 27 he is 24. I have my own home and vehicle and he lives with me now and has a work van. I have a masters he has a diploma. He promotes and parties but I go out on occasion. He smokes weed and I never! I am used to a man with more to offer in every way even financially, however the love that he has given me I thought would be able to carry us through and as we go on arguing and ignoring each others calls I am thinking we won’t last. We are talking future, kids, marriage and I need to figure out if this is a waist of my time. Any advice for a restless lover…
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI agree with the post. As time goes on I am allowing myself to not be so mad about the things I call big and he considers little. We both are trying to make this into a great future. I just pray that its more than love because that is what i need.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): I can relate to this--12 years of similar events--not married. Now we argue constantly, have not had sex in several years, and wonder if we should continue. We each see strong, positive attributes in each other that we want in a partner, but perhaps we just are not compatible. If you are asking this at the 5-year mark, I would suggest either call it quits now before someone gets hurt, or seek relationship counseling if you feel there is a strong bond between the two of you that needs some guidance. I wish we had sought counseling earlier instead of thinking it would work itself out or we could deal with it! It will not get better without professional help, or a parting of the ways. Ya'll need to make a decision. Good luck!
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