A
female
age
51-59,
*onfused_N_ohio
writes:I live with my boyfriend and have been in a committed realtionship with him for 7 years. I do not doubt at all that he loves me and would do anything for me...almost anything except have sex with me. He has every excuse known to man, and some are valid (stress). I am a 42 year old woman that wants it...badly and he is a 52 year old man that does not. He has tried testosterone treatment and that did nothing to increase the libido. He used to be overly infatuated with computer porn but, tells me he does not look at that anymore. I have my doubts as he is at home during the day (currently unemployed hence the stress factor mentioned above). He refuses to discuss the sex issue with me and apologizes for not being more amorous. He calls me crazy when I tell him how he hurts my feelings by rejecting me and how I lack of self esteem due to this. Yep, I have tried pursuing him only to have him fall asleep DURING the "act"...THAT is a self esteem boost. I love him but, I REALLY miss sex......any advice?Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2008): hi, this is just a suggestion as i see this so here goes..It sounds as if he may be suffering with depression because of his situation as this can cause lack of interest and also may be the cause of him choosing to sleep at that crucial moment rather than letting you down? This might sound uncaring, but it may be how he copes. Perhaps, if this is the case then it could be what has become a vicious circle of depression - feelings of failure - lack of labido - tiredness - his and your frustrations - back to more depression? I think perhaps if you took time to just enjoy each other without intending to have sex, with no pressure on him something might change, but until then i suggest investing in a bedroom toy to help you cope. You never know he may enjoy helping you with it! best wishes with sorting this out.
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