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female
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anonymous
writes: We dont seem to have sex anymore and it really upsets me. I have been with a my man for a little over 2 years. Things were always fab with us, sex, laughs so much in common and we are madly in love. We have a great relationship except for the sex, its seems to be dead on its feet as he's not interested or can't be bothered.. what do i do to get it back ? I have tried everything you can imagine and I mean everything, looking at porn, dressing up, enacting fantasies etc..and he's still not bothered..he used to be and we had such a great sex life and now its completely gone off the boil, I always want sex with him and have never once said no, but he says no all the time. It gets to were I dare not to mention it anymore as it ends in a row. Im not expecting sex all the time, but once a week would be nice. We are loving and caring in every other aspect its just the sex and i miss it so much, i have told him this and hes says that its not the be all and end all. He's always telling me he loves me very much and were great together, its just this part...he seems to have gone from stud to can't be bothered..it really upsets me as I feel he doesnt fancy me anymore even though he says he does.. doesnt matter what time of day I pick, there is always a reason why we cant have sex. the last time was about 3 weeks ago that we had sex, and then i felt it was because he was doing me a favour.. how do i get him ti initiate sex with me he always used to before, couldnt keep our hands off each other... there isnt a perfomance pron as we are very open and chat about everything. and he is quite happy to masturbate when im not here. we have had so many cahts about this and the result is always the same, he says he loves me and wants to be with me, but we never get our sex life back... no matter what I try, now its like im always going on at him, but how can I naturally get it back on track when i whenever I try, I always get turned down... I've told him how I feel and I get nowhere...I dont want to end it because of the sex, but at the same time I dont want to go without sex....I love him so so much and this is driving me crazy, I just want him how he used to be, couldnt keep his hands off me... the sex was like everyday went down to twice a week and then once.. and now hardly ever! How can i get my man to want sex again.. please help.
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female
reader, shania  +, writes (26 November 2005):
 This could be a number of things on why he has gone off sex.He could be suffering from depression,is he worried about anything like his job etc.Stress can play a major part on sexual appetite.Is he on medication that would dampen his sex drive? I think you should have another chat with him but this time dont focus on the sex part,instead ask him if anything is troubling him and if the answer is yes then the chances are,he isnt going to be too interested in sex,that is going to be another problem to sort out.Otherwise,he should see a doctor if its more medical.I dont think he is going off you because he does say he loves you and everything else seems fine,from what you said,so il take your word for it.Anyway,if all else fails then you will have to decide,whether you can put up with the lack of sex.In some relationships,its not that all important but in others its everything.The relationship might of ran its course,but i say my money is on him having problems outside the relationship and he isnt saying.Go on,speak to him.
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