A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am a 35 year old girl who has been in a relationship with another girl for 8 months.She has asked me for a break between us, to see what she really wants.She says she loves me but she is confused on what path to take.To be with a man in order to have a baby or to be with me.She tried being with a man before me but didn't work out.She ended up being with women again.What should i do?I love her and it hurts me to have a break time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYours answers are true. It's difficult for her though because she hasn't come out with her sexuality.Also she hasn't got anyone to speak about her feelings concerning this matter.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (17 October 2011):
 She doesn't need a husband to have a child, she could find a donor. Honestly.
She isn't sure what she wants. She sounds like she is still finding out who she is when it comes to her sexuality. To be very frank I would give her the space she needs, but I would also tell her if she want to date others, so will you. Don't sit around and put your life on hold while she try and figure out if she wants to be with you or not.
If you are available when she does figure it out (if she does) then good for the two of you, if not.,... her loss.
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A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (16 October 2011):
 I think that if she is unsure about where she is, who she is with and what she is doing, then unfortunately you have to let her go and decide for herself. I know you love her, but you won't be able to keep her unless she wholeheartedly wants to be with you, and wants to be in an all-female relationship. It sounds as if part of her wants the traditional set-up of a man and the two of them parents to their baby/children. This means she is not totally happy in her set-up with you. She is not convinced it is where she wants to be.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (16 October 2011):
 In my country and province, gay marriage is accepted. Not every gay couple believes in marriage but it's not uncommon to see gay couples with children (biological or adopted) so each kid has two fathers or two mothers.
Your country does not recognize gay marriage. If I live in a country which denies my sexuality I would move if I could, if I couldn't I would devote my energies to spirituality, and accept that romance would not be a part of my life. I am not going to just sit and wait for a lesbian who doesn't want a family. If she is 100% gay and not at all attracted to men, she has to understand that she is not being fair to the man who wants to be desired sexually. At the end it's up to her to decide.
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A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (16 October 2011):
 You need to tell her exactly how you feel about her and how you feel about you two as a couple, also it may be a good idea to mention to her she can still have a baby in a same sex relationship, through IVF or other methods.
After you have told her this all you can do is give her the time she needs and be there for her when she does need you.
Really hope it works out.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2011): You should let her know that being with a man isnt the only way to have babies and a family. My cousin is happily married to a woman and they have two little girls. And with women, it doesnt necessarily have to be through adoption. My cousin`s wife gave birth to both of their girls, and one even has both of their dna! (Ah modern science.) SO you need to tell her this isnt about genders. Its about love. Either she wants to be with you or she doesnt. Its not fair for her to expect you to wait around for her while she hurts you like that.
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A
male
reader, over1thing +, writes (16 October 2011):
 tell her that you love her and that this break you are in is hurting your heart... be honest and tell her in your own words
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