A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm fed up! I have been with my boy friend for 6 years and we have a 3 year old child. I've always been the one that made more money, even when I was on unemployment. When we first met he use to buy me flowers and buy cards for me, now nothing. I have alway bought him gifts for just being him, I just recently stopped due to feeling neglected myself. I've even though about getting myself some flowers that say anonymos to make him jealous. We now fight all the time now, I keep telling him what I want and he starts yelling and telling me that I'm materialistic. Now I just feel like its not worth it anymore, and all I can do is cry. Did I do something wrong?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): What you have to realize is that men and women think in different ways. Women tend to be more emotional, while men tend to think in a simple, practical manner. While you may feel like getting flowers was the way that he was showing appreciation for you, he might have simply thought of it as giving you what you wanted in order to get you/ keep you interested in him.
Try to sort of step out of your own mind and see things from his perspective. You said you have a 3 year old child. Maybe he thinks that money for flowers and things would be better used for things for the baby or for paying bills and such. Don't let your desire for a physical symbol of his appreciation distract you from what he actually does.
I suggest that you two should go on a date without your child and try to reconnect. Remember that relationships are about give and take. Don't forget that. Compromise is a wonderful, wonderful thing. Also, communicate with him in a non-threatening way. Don't fight with him and accuse him of not appreciating you enough. Just tell him that you would like a chance to get your relationship back into the state it used to be in. (This would be where the date would come in.) In any case, don't give up without seeing things from both perspectives. He could be feeling the same way you do.
I wish you luck with everything.
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