A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I'd really appreciate any help, guidance or advice anyone can offer.... I'm completly in love with another female. This isn't a "crush", it's the real thing. I know because I never felt this way about anyone before, and certainly not for as long as I've felt it. I first started having feelings for her about 4 years ago, and since then, it has just taken over me. She is on my mind all the time, and I always find myself thinking about what she's doing or what she'd say.Please don't tell me it will pass, or that I should just tell her, because it's not as simple as that. I could ruin our friendship if I just blurt it out. She may not feel the same way as I do... She's really hard to read, and it's impossible to tell if she's aware of my feelings. Sometimes she'll say something and then I analyise her every word... Maybe she knows, maybe she doesn't....Either way I'm going out of my head with despair, and I'm so lonely as I can't tell anyone. Please help me with good advice if you can, becauseI'm no longer able to cope...Thank You xxx Reply to this Question
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male
reader, tuckerjo +, writes (24 June 2008):
I really feel for you,. the whole thing about falling in love is that, it's out of your control.
you're right it won't pass, but it will ease as time goes on.
you may come to a point where it will simply become easier to avoid her. You dont mention if she's in a relationship?
If she isn't & you've known her for 4 years why don't you try to talk to her? Maybe mention that if you were a bloke you'd ask her out, see how she reacts.
At least you'll know where you stand.
I wish you well with whatever you decide to do, don't forget you are entitled to happiness.
God Bless.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008): To the first reply at the bottom of the page, I just want to say that as a human with real emotions, I am unable to "switch off" my feelings and simply "stay away" from the gay circle.... I didn't choose to feel this way, I just feel it. I wish I could control my feelings for her.
So for you to just tell me to basically ignore my feelings and continue to carry this burden, well lets just I am unimpressed. As a religous person, I respect your beliefs, but do NOT agree with your solution.
Many Regards.
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A
female
reader, LoveSlave  +, writes (21 April 2008):
I believe there is not a one-sided attraction. You could not feel such a connection with this woman if there was no reaction from her. It's a chemical reaction...we can call it pheromones, but it's a chemical reaction that two peoples bodies create when the other is near. It's pretty amazing. Families are bonded similarly. While they may not like each other much and fight, they still love the other. My question to you...are you able to swallow this? Is it fair to either of you? Not telling her is depriving yourself of an authentic love experience. Everyone deserves to know. Live in the chance, even a slim one, that you may just get a happily ever-after.
If it's telling the fam about this that's holding you back as well, i would call this a pickle. It's hard to shock the ones you love. The outcome is a gamble. Live your true life. They will be around after the dust settles. If not, i think you're better off. I hope any of this perspective helps...coming from a woman who's been there.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008): i don't know if what i'm about to say would help but if you aren't already gay, then just stay away from that circle. i don't have anythng against gay people, im just very religious and God destroyed two cities because of that! so please pray about it and don't tell your friend especially if you dont wana ruin what you have already and are not sure of her reaction.take care dear and i pray God intervenes in your situation.Amen
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