A
male
age
41-50,
*onfusedsoul
writes:I unconsciously try to anything that i can feel is providing me a sense of being highly regarded by others in society. May is be a job, a good education degree or even a girl. Basically i want to feel bigger and better than others and developing a feeling of attachment with things mentioned above gives me a sense of security against all the negativity and criticism that is used by society to form a judgement about me as a person in general. I greatly fear being labelled as a failure, as i have too much idealistic inner image about myself and it is the people outside who are bad or losers and not me. I never have been. And there is too much pressure by people to prove it otherwise, mainly because they consider me to be a challenge and threat to their own preferences and value system, which unfortunately is quite rotten and ill-designed. Any supporting advice would be helpful. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, mcbirdie  +, writes (20 May 2007):
 While you may have good insight into your own issue--and it seems likely that you do--I think your perception of others is skewed. Why do you assume that other people are exerting pressure on you?
I find it a bit worrying that you ascribe these attitudes of them considering you a challenge or a threat without any proof. And your comment that their value systems are rotten and ill-designed seems harshly judgmental and not based on evidence.
Introspection is a powerful thing. But too much introspection without outside verification can easily turn corrupted and nonsensical. I would suggest less self-analysis and more conversations with other people.
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