A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need to know if I am being a jerk her or not.So I been and exchange student for a year and after I came back home I started to have feeling for my female best friend. She had a boyfriend of 1 year at that time. I wanted to surpress my feelings for her at first but I couldn't and I started to express them( I know I am a jerk for this because she got a boyfriend). I started touching her during class and it got to the point when it was sexual.I knew she had some feeling for me then but she still loved her boyfriend. She never told me to stop tho.So it went like this for a year and I started to lose all hope, but like a month ago she said to me that she wants to have sex with me. But I though she wasn't completly serious as she has a boyfriend.So last sunday she was having a party. As the time went by everyone was leaving until it was only me and her. We were dacing together and I tried to kiss her but she told me that nothing is going to happen, but after me trying to kiss her for like 15 minutes it finally happend. (I need to mention that I went on a date with this other girl [her friend] trying to move on 2 days before the party)So after few minutes of kissing she told me that this was a huge mistake and that I will never have her and I can keep trying and never have her or move on. So next day I decided to go on a date with her friend and things got complicated and we had sex together.So today 6 days after we kissed she saw me kissing with her friend and got all weird and started blaming me that I am an asshole and that how can I kiss her and than 2 days later go on a date with her friend. Am I an asshole because I did go out with her friend? She told me that she doesn't want anything with me and that I should move on after the kissing.Now she's saying that she doesnt ever want to see me and stuff like that.Did I do anything wrong ? Before we kissed I was only on one date with her friend and nothing happend on that date so I didn't cheat on her friend , right ? Why does she care that I've been with another girl when she got a boyfriend and told me to never make a move on her and just to be friends?I m sorry that this is long and complicated but I m really looking for some advice what to do right now. I still want to be friends with my bf. Btw I have never cheated(considering that this one wasnt cheating)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2011): I understand this girl gave you some mixes messages. That wasn't right. But sleeping with her friend almost immediately afterward was in poor taste.Moving on means, moving ON...and away. It does not mean shift attention to the girl next to her.Stay away from the whole lot. That way no lines are blurred and feelings aren't hurt (yours' or theirs).
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2011): It sounds like when she told you the kiss was a mistake she was playing a game, and it was maybe her wish for you to chase her harder and she would be the one in control.
Her intention was maybe to test if you were in it for the long term by seeing if you would fight for her.
In her mind that might make her think about leaving her gf for you.. and if she was happy with her bf she wouldnt of kissed you. something is missing in her relationship and she has found it from you.
Her plan back fired and you took her requests to move on literally.
I would just not contact her and play the game. she will contact you if you dont
Good luck
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 June 2011):
 Yes she has a boyfriend but my guess is she loved the attention that she got from you. She enjoyed the excitement of you touching her and someone else other than her boyfriend wanting her. She teased you a little bit by saying she wanted to have sex with you but then when you tried kissing her she knew that it was wrong and she made her feelings clear that it was a mistake. So my answer is no you did not do anything wrong. This girl is only jealous now because you have moved your attention on to another girl, her friend. She enjoyed the attention she got from you and now that you are moving on she is annoyed. Maybe she does like you a little bit but not enough for her to end things with her boyfriend. So my advice to you is don't let her play with your head. Forget about her and see how things go with this new girl.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2011): Okay, this girl needs to get herself straight.
First she doesn't mind you touching her, then the next thing she remembers she's in a relationship and tells you not to make a move. She can't have her cake an eat it too - either she wants to be with you, or she doesn't. simple as. You can't wait around for her forever, and you can't be a slave to her feelings.
However, she might be annoyed that you started to date her friend. As a girl you have a rule - you don't date any of your ex-boyfriends friends. Maybe she sees it the same.... you tried it with her, and then moved onto her friend.
Either way, it seems to me that she's now jealous that she's not getting all of your attention. Talk to her and show her how irrational she's being. Either she wants to be yours, or she doesn't, but you need to know. She can't keep stringing you along
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