A
male
age
30-35,
*obby123
writes:Hey ppl,So I met this girl at this place where we both volunteer together to teach underprivileged kids and she is really really really super pretty,what's more?...from what I've seen and heard about her she also seems to be a really good human being:)I've been thinking about her all week and find myself smiling at nothing while I think about her! I can't take my eyes off her pictures for hours and I just feel so happy all the time.but here's the problem,I have no idea if she's taken,she's a little older than me and I know I'm gonna choke up when I see her again. How do I prepare for when I see her again this Saturday? How do I know if she likes me back?We haven't really started talking yet and I can become awfully quiet around girls! Help me...I'm totally strung out! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2016): HiIn one of your answers an uncle stated 'Do not be nervous. Women hate it'. I have heard of many a woman be completely won over by a man showing some vulnerability. So just be you and if I were you I'd play it by ear. If it feels right to talk to her, then do it. If not, wait for another time. It will all come right at the right time, it always does. I see a lot of men and women interacting in my hobby, it's very social and the men who are successful around women, treat them as friends first. The way to show that you are interested is to maybe show her a little more attention than anyone else. It doesn't have to be anything heavy, a light hearted comment, very slightly prolonged eye contact if you're speaking to her. One man I know who is very good and natural with women, smiles sexily and drops his eyes to the ground occasionally. Very effective. He's told me that he used to be cripplingly shy around women and he even blushed when he told me this. You would never suspect this now, so it's something that can be overcome if you don't push the situation or yourself too hard. If you show her a little attention, could be a compliment or a question about what's happening around you at the time or whatever else you can think up, then you will get some feedback as to whether she's interested or not. She will smile, look at you, listen to you. If not, carry on with the light attention and chat another time. Some people take a while to cotton on to their feelings, to warm up. Gauge her reaction and go from there. I think she is more likely to go for a coffee with you if she has got to know you a little first. If a man just asked me out for coffee, it would put me on the back foot. I wouldn't know if I like him so wouldn't know whether to say yes or no! I see you're meeting her tonight and maybe this post is too late for Saturday night. If you have asked her for coffee and she declined, then don't give up, but just chat casually over the next few times you meet and don't forget the sexy smile! Good luck x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2016): First, you want to stop with the adulation and idolization; and just bring her down to earth. She isn't an angel or a heavenly creature. She's as human as you are.
Her beauty should neither be the basis of your feelings for her, nor the source of your intimidation. Man-up a little, the boyish-infatuation is immature. I say this, because "choking-up" will embarrass you and may cost you the opportunity to meet and get to know her. Choking-up is because you're raising her too high above where she belongs as a human being, and that isn't how a romance should ever start. You should be fond of her for who she is, not for where you've placed her. That then would place the expectation on her to maintain your perception of perfection. You will not embrace and/or accept her human flaws that you have yet to see.
Fight all your fears and walk-up to her and introduce yourself like a man. Be polite and friendly. Use your charm and invite her for a tea or coffee; and share some light conversation about the wonderful contribution you are both making to humanity.
My highest regard to you for giving of your time and kind heart to help under-privileged children. You are truly a catch, and I hope she will see this in you as a person and as a young man.
...............................
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (5 February 2016):
 When she's not surrounded by friends ask her if she would like to meet you for a coffee. Where's the harm in that? She can say yes or no. If she says no then say, 'Perhaps another time then?' You will get a feeling if she might be open to the idea.
I'm hoping this is not one of those situations in which a chaperone would normally be involved in your culture. You flagged India.
As Ovid said: 'Whether they give or refuse women are glad to have been asked.'
Quae dant, quaeque negant, guadent tamen esse rogatae.
...............................
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (5 February 2016):
 You sound like a girl. First, do not be nervous. Women hate it. Show her confidence.. smile make eye contact. Dont be shy.. at your age its creepy. Next approach her and say hi and if you talk to her avoid boring talk like weather or news. BE INTERESTING.
...............................
|
