A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I know I will be judged a lot from this question, but I really am stuck in a big web of my own lies. Well, I don't really know if they count as lies but I need help. Me and my ex only went out for a month. Not a long time, I know. I am only 14 and he is only 15. We are young, naive, and as far as I am concerned I loved him and he loved me. You can call it what you want, but I think of it as teenage love? Something different from real love, but a love of it's own. Confusing I know haha! Basically he broke my heart, said he didn't love me anymore. A week before that he told me he was thinking about sex (I said I wasn't ready, and he said he wasn't okay with that, later he then admitted that he too wasn't ready so that wasn't a big problem). For about a week things just kept going downhill, eventually he said we needed to talk and I knew then that he was going to break up with me. He did, I was devastated and I cried so much and lost my appetite for several days. Luckily, through all this heart ache I had a friend who helped me through everything. He was there at the party where I was dumped, he took me on a walk that night and just made me so happy. I admit that in the rocky week of my relationship I started falling for my friend because he cared more about me than my ex did. Just one week later, he told me that he was falling for me and liked me a lot, I told him the truth; that I too was falling for him. For the past about month we have been almost like a couple, we're not dating but I spend a lot of time with him and he makes me so happy. Everyone says that we should date, or as we brits call it, "go out". My and my ex are sort of friends now, we talk quite often but we haven't spoken face to face yet as we go to different schools. Everytime we talk he always asks how my "new guy" is, everytime! One problem; I think I still love him. I don't know why, I really don't want to but I miss him so much. I feel like I'm lying to the guy I like (he was NOT a rebound, I really do like him!) and I don't know what to do. I can't tell my ex because that will just ruin everything. I'm full of hope that he will come back to me and things will be like they used to be, but at the same time I just want to be with the guy I have right now. I know I'm just young and the best thing for me would be to just forget about relationships, but if you're not young, then it seriously is impossible for you to understand how the teenage mind works, even though you were once young too. My ex always brings my new guy up and when the "thing" between me and the new guy developed, he was saying he didn't want to see me get hurt and that he was a player. Someone please give me advice on what I should do?! Thankyou so much in advance!
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female
reader, clvx33  +, writes (5 April 2010):
 Heyy,
I'm 14 here & i have been there.
all I can tell you is the best relationships come from friendship.
sO basically if you want a non-serious relationship go for your ex. If you want the best relationship of your life go for your friend. I chose best relationship of my life and ended up together for 9 months.
A
female
reader, juel +, writes (5 April 2010):
 You were right not to give into the pressures of sex, only if do things you feel comfortable doing (under age sex is against the law). You need to decide whether you are truly attracted to your friend or just need some friendly support. Be totally honest and give your self some breathing space before making any rash decisions or you may lose a great friend. Be curious with your ex and take things slowly, you are still young, enjoy it
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