A
female
age
30-35,
*CuriousGirl
writes: I'll go ahead and say up front that I am inexperienced in dating, and take physical intimacy very slowly. Well, I went out dancing with this guy, and when he drew me aside for kissing, his hands started exploring and I was friendly about telling him to stop. Afterwards, he suggested we go out to eat, but it was already midnight, I had major studying the next day, and I had been frightened by his intensity. So I declined, but then he apoligized for coming on too strong earlier, and I told him honestly I had still enjoyed myself. But then when I said I should get back to my room, he asked to join me. I said let's take things slow, but he suggested that we just do "it" slowly, and joked about doing "it" in the car. I grinned and said that that was why I needed to get back to my room. Then he drove away without mentioning seeing me again. This worried me because I really liked him. Is it a bad sign that he didn't ask to see me again? Should I regret not going out to eat with him and not saying I wanted to see him again? Might he have misunderstood the fact that I like him but just want to take things slow, and should I clarify it by contacting him?
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male
reader, GhostChild  +, writes (14 September 2010):
 You don't have anything to feel bad about or regret, he shouldn't have been pushing to go further so soon. If you're not comfortable, he can't make you do anything you want to do.
If you really like him and are afraid you've driven him away, then maybe wait a few days and call him and ask if he wants to hang out or something? But either way, you have nothing to feel bad about. Whenever my girlfriend turns me down when I'm pushing for sex, I don't take it as a rejection, I take it as her not being in the mood or not feeling like it, and I'm sure that he understands that he was going to fast and you weren't ready for it.
If he really likes you then I'm sure he'll be in touch, us males can be quite persistent when we like someone
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2010): You have absolutely nothing to regret! This guy was after sex, and you should be proud of yourself that you stood your ground and didn't let him pressure you into anything. I personally would say to forget about him. I'm sure he was very nice to you, but that was because he wanted to sleep with you. If he genuinely liked you for more than a sexual encounter, he would have mentioned meeting you again. In fact, he would have been a whole lot more respectful to you.
So I really don't think you are losing much if you don't hear from this guy again. I suggest not contacting him. But if you DO contact him, or if you DO hear from him again, just tread carefully, and take things at the pace you are comfortable at. Don't let him, or anyone else, pressure you into anything you are not comfortable with.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2010): It seems to me like this guy was only after sex. Really all the signs are there.
He started "exploring" really early, even when you told him you had a lot of studying to do he still tried to get you to sleep with him.
You have nothing to worry about whatsoever, you did not do anything wrong in your date, actually you acted perfectly. You're the kind of girl that we guys ask out again, by the way your date went anyway.
You should regret nothing and you should not contact him. Let him do it, if he doesn't within the next few days then you know what he was after.
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