A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this girl Jess a few weeks ago and we started becoming good friends, openly talking and joking and having fun. Eventually, I realized I had feelings for her and she realized hers for me, so we're half flirting, half being really awkward and closed now since we're both shy and we don't know what to say anymore.But I don't want the relationship anymore because I swore off them for awhile, plus it's sort of souring our friendship. I let myself flirt with her 'cause I couldn't control myself, but now I realized I'm not ready for this, and I don't want to sour our friendship. I have to put my foot down, but A. How can I control myself when thinking about her, and B. How do I tell her that I don't want us to be together, but still be able to foster a growing friendship with her? She may be hurt by it, but I want to soften the blow as much as I can.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009): God you could be describing my situation here. Please talk to her and don't ignore her. I had this girl and at first I persued her, but I have some health issues so I decided it was a bad idea. I talked to her a little bit about it but she still wanted to hang out one-on-one a lot, but it was a little too much for me. Now we don't really talk, and I really miss her. She was a great girl, and I think I made a big mistake. I think she would have been fine with just being friends for a while if I had really talked to her. I don't know, I guess I blew it.
A
female
reader, Briana969  +, writes (19 May 2009):
This is dangerous water here so you are going to have to tread carefully, the one time that this happened to me i suggested a place to go for a coffee, during the meal i actually brought up the topic of how much we had been flirting, thats when i carefully put it saying that sometimes i let myself get carried away and dont realise what im doing, and i explain that even though their a great friend the flirting has made me realise that i got carried away and i wasnt ready to start anything and that i was sorry.
Be preapared to lose the friendship though, she might take it as rejection and would find it difficult to see it as just being a friendship.
n/b if you have feelings for this girl, isnt it worth to give it a shot if you cant stop thinking about her. just a suggestion
all the best
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