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male
age
36-40,
*earnofish541
writes: this girl is a good friend of mine and we lost contact until about two weeks ago. we have been hanging out togather almost everyday since she seems to be into me we cuddle when nobody else is around we even slept together cuddling but nothing more the other night. she tells me when i am not around everything bad seems to happen to her. and when i talk to any other girl she gets jealous. like i said she seems to like me but she has a BF who is in jail when she does talk to him she always crys but when i pick her up she stops that second. so does she want me and doesn't want to dump her current BF cuz he is in jail and would feel guilty or am i a stand in BF or something its really confusing cuz i really like her alot would love to date her
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2006): Ask her if you are a 'stand in' or not? Talk, communicate. She's the only one who can answer that question. In my opinion, you are filling in a 'spot' she needs. It sounds like she still has strong feelings for her bf who is in jail, dear. If she didn't- he'd be gone and you be in. It also appears she is lonely, confused and you are a 'beacon in her life'. She sounds dependant on you-not a healthy way to function in relationships. Both people need to be independant, with no neediness or baggage in tow. But in all fairness to you-- your best option is to be prepared to move on and find someone else you can date, without all her baggage. She needs to figure out if she still want to be a part of this other bf's life and make the decision to break away from him. This is an either/or situation. Either she does the work of leaving the other guy, heal and recovering so she can give the best of herself to you or... you move on to other people to date. I think you and she need to have a talk about what she intends to do.
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