A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I told my boyfriend at the beginning of my relationship,I had been with 3 people before him,sexually wise. He believed it. Sometime later into our relationship,he became my fiancé and we are together. He asked me how many people I have been with. I forgot my first lie so I said 4.He's hurt with me about it and said he can't believe I lied .But in all honesty I've only been with one other person beside him. I don't know what made me say that, I guess it's because I have multiple friends who have had sex with that many people or more and I just wanted to fit in. I promised to never lie to him. But should I tell him all of the truth instead of letting him believe this. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): You should come clean and stop this habbit of lying.
Since you lied and told him 3 then later told him 4 he now thinks you cheated on him. You have to start telling the truth and stop lying or your relationship is doomed.
A
female
reader, cat lady +, writes (5 January 2011):
 If it's alright, I have few questions of my own:Is the age of consent not 18 in America anymore? How old is this boyfriend? He ought to asking if he's likely to be arrested, not how many illegal sexual encounters you've had already! How many people has HE slept with? Did you ask? He's not your counselor, your confessor, your legal guardian or your parole officer. It's none of his business to know anything you don't feel like telling him and that is what you should have said to him when he started this rude interrogation. Where is your family? You need somebody to protect you from these situations.A little advice: you have to have a very good memory indeed to be liar and so you should only tell lies if your survival or that of a loved one depends upon it. Never indulge intrusions into your personal privacy to the point that you feel you must lie just to shut the intruder up. If your lover is this much of a busy-body before marriage, he'll be a hellish trial to you after marriage. Personally, I think you need to take a break from the beds of men and start focusing on things that can actually do you some good: your education, your prospects for a career and some healthy introspection about your apparent lack of self-confidence. Only you can develop your confidence in the world; no one can give it to you. It looks to me like you're being used - and you're too young to see disaster coming. Get out of this situation before you end up with an unplanned unwed pregnancy. It is shiningly apparent from your post here that you are not ready for 'adult' relationships. Enjoy your youth while you have it - you'll miss it later.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011): Woman up and own up to it all, if you don't you will lie to him about everything.
Honesty is the only good policy in relationships.
I agree, show him your post on here.
Honesty...keep that in mind.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011): Are you only 16 and how are you engaged at that age? You are still only a minor! How long have you been together? If he believe you than why is he asking the question again? Just tell him the truth!
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (4 January 2011):
 Tell him exactly what you just told us. Tell him that you were embarrassed by your lack of experience and promise to be honest in the future (though remember that you are allowed to refuse to answer a question, which is hard to do but much better than lying). The sooner you're truthful, the sooner he'll trust you again.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011): Show him your post here and maybe it will help him to believe you. Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, InLoveW/Love +, writes (4 January 2011):
Coming out with the truth now, he might have a harder time believing you. But the truth always comes out sooner or later,so yes you should tell him the truth.
He will probably be happier he's number 2 on your list instead of 4 or 5.
After you tell him, you can't lie again. The trust has to be rebuilt.
Good Luck!
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