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I lack confidence due to my very think hair

Tagged as: Health, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 January 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 9 January 2012)
A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

This is not a relationship question per se. But it is about something that has really affected my self esteem. I'm 23 years old, female, and I have extremely thin hair. It's so thin, that my ponytail is only a bit thicker than my thumb (and I have really thin fingers/thumbs). My part is very wide, and there is an area around my crown in which my scalp is really visible. I feel like a monster, because I don't know anyone aside from sister who is so young and has such thin hair. For some reason my sister seems to accept it better, I wish I was that strong. But I feel constantly ashamed, avoiding contact with tall guys, feeling frustrated because I can't style my hair, feeling I look siclky, obssessing with my hair (or lack thereof).

As far as I know, this is just genetic, since both of my parents have thin/thinning hair, and I've never had thick hair... but I was looking at pictures of when I was like 14 today and it's true, I didn't have much hair, but my part was normal and you couldn't see any scalp on any area of my head. But I'm really healthy and have none of the problems usually associated with hair loss, so this is just the hand I was dealt. But I can't accept it. I just can't, and I need to know how to accept it. I just feel that my hair makes me ugly, my face is ok, my body is ok, but I feel my hair ruins everything. Being bald is so taboo for women, that there are no celebrity role models to look up to, and say "Yeah, she has really thin hair, you can see a lot of her scalp, but she's still beautiful!". A lot of women care so much about small breasts, for example, but they are acceptable, women with small breasts are considered beautiful, etc... but with thin hair it's not the same.

And there is no cure for androgenic alopecia, which is what I have, and that only makes this situation more difficult and depressing. I don't know what to do, and I'm not mentally prepared to "wear hair" (weaves, wigs, or other types of hair pieces... not extensions 'cause those really damage existing hair). Sometimes I just wish I could shave it all off and not care, but it's not a good look for me, and men don't like it either. I'm afraid all guys will see my head and think I'm gross.

I just want to stop hating my hair, to stop envying women with full heads of hair, and to stop feeling gross and ashamed of being with guys, I even feel like maybe I'll just stay single forever to never have to deal with a man touching my hair (I hate when people touch my hair which is why I also dread going to the salon). I'm desperate, I feel like I'm losing my mind! Help please! Any advice on how to feel better? Any other women in my situation who have gotten over this?? Thanks in advance.

- Balding Beauty -

View related questions: breasts, confidence, self esteem

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2012):

Sugar has already mentioned this, but this could be the result of a medical problem, for example thyroid disease, or it could be treatable with medication.

You need to see an endocrinologist, and a dermatologist, I don't know what country u live in but if it's the States u could ask Bowman Gray (school of medicine) for a referral.

I feel so badly for you because you are feeling badly, but people all have physical defects. When you love someone, you are blind to those, and people become beautiful in your eyes and you see past the imperfections. My ex boyfriend from eight years ago had only one eye but I fell so in love with him in spite of that. But that's a long story.

I think you really should see a doctor and get a second opinion. There are many medical causes for this... good luck.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2012):

Have you spoken to a doctor or dermatologist about this? There are medications on the market, spironolactone being one, which are anti-androgenic and could help with the hair loss by blocking some of the effects of excess androgen production. Best of luck :)

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A female reader, Sugarbuns Australia +, writes (8 January 2012):

Sugarbuns agony auntYou say you are healthy but unless your parents are suffering from this degree of hair loss I think there could be something wrong with your thyroid.

It is a typical sign. I have heard of some vitamins helping with the growth of hair. Do your homework. I think it's vitamin E and maybe vitamin D.

Before you rule out weaves and wigs, I think you would benefit from some stylish hairpieces that you place in your existing hair with clips or barretts. If done right they can help you look and feel much better. But please go see your family doctor, a complete physical is in order including all kinds of lab/blood work. He or she will get to the bottom of whether it's something missing in your diet, or if it's your thyroid and with the right medication you may see huge results. I wish you the best.

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A female reader, Roo5 South Africa +, writes (8 January 2012):

I'm sorry your'e not feeling good and that your hair is thinning! I bet you've tried everything but I'm just going to go ahead and suggest that maybe parting your hair to the side and not down the middle and using voluminous thickening mouse might help, and maybe even using curlers and the mouse to give you more volume.

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