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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi, hoping you guys can help: I notice I always have sexual fantasies about my bf. I know I shouldn't entertain the idea of sex with him because he is practicing celibacy, and I agree with it totally, but I can't help but think of how lovely it would be to share that physical side with him--any advice of how I can stop these thoughts? Thanks Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2009): I feel that Christianity is being attacked here by people that really don't understand it or haven't taken the time to.
Nowhere in Christianity is it stated that sex is wrong. I don't know where people are getting this from. The only things Christianity is against where sex is concerned is sex outside of marriage, adultery, and homosexuality and bestiality. But that's beside the point.
To answer the question, since sex is a natural thing, indeed as natural as breathing, it's not surprising that your mind is going to venture into that arena. However, if your boyfriend has decided on being celibate, fantasizing about him is only going to get you frustrated. Here's what I usually do: if my mind starts to wonder down that path, I immediately recognize what's going on and find something else to occupy my mind like reading a book, exercising or doing something that requires your full attention, like a riddle (lame, but it does work). Good luck.
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male
reader, TankerNC +, writes (10 December 2005):
Well I am glad harshbutfair has endorsed Internet porn!You may want to check in with some potentate of his religion (which may be anything) and find out what you can and cant do together. You might find that hand jobs, foot action, or phone sex are acceptable.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2005): Look, sex is natural and may be fun, but I disagree with anyone who tells you that you should ditch your bf just because he wants to practice celibacy. As long as you're happy with him and he treats you well, that's no reason to ditch him.If you're finding that you're having sexual fantasies you don't want to have, maybe the best thing would be to talk about them with your bf. He clearly has a reason for wanting to be celibate; it sounds like this is something that's being imposed on you. Let me be clear that I do not mean to say that you should complain about the celibacy. It's his decision, and if you're going to be with him, you SHOULD NEVER put any pressure on him to sleep with you. BUT, even if he is celibate, I doubt he's never thought of you in a sexual way. Talk to him. Tell him you care about him and respect his decision to remain celibate and want to support him, but that you find yourself troubled by your sexual thoughts of him. Ask him for his opinion. You may find that the conversation draws you closer than ever.
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A
male
reader, harshbutfair  +, writes (10 December 2005):
 This is where the whole "celibacy movement" is in trouble. Celibacy isn't normal. It's not biologically what you are programmed to do. It's not what millions of years of evolution have developed you to desire. Why is your b/f celibate? Why does he have a g/f? Your dreams are perfectly normal - maybe you should find yourself a non-celibate boyfriend who would love to bop your brains out.
Despite what evangelical Christians may try and tell you: Sex is fun. It keeps you fit. It relaxes you. It makes you closer to another human being. It's what you're meant to do.
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