A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years now and sometime lately i'v had a crush on one of my guy friends.on night we were at a party and right from the start i felt like kissing him ..after a few drinks my guy friend told me he wanted to tell me something and we went into the kitchen to talk and he told me that he was really attracted to me and always has been . and because of the drinks i was feeling really uninhibited and i told him that i felt like kissing him. he grabbed me and kissed me..i pulled away immediately and told him i couldn't do this. i never meant for us to actually kiss. i felt so guilty about this and i told my best friend. and even though both the guy i kissed and my best friend won;t probably tell anyone i'm scared about my boyfriend finding out somehow.. all the sites and blogs I've checked out say that the truth comes out eventually and i don't wanna screw up my relationship.its a one off thing an I've stopped talking to my guy friend . how do i make sure they never tell anyone though?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): I can't believe the advice you've gotten so far, no offence guys but you all seem to have completely missed the point here. Actually this wasn't JUST a kiss at all.
Her very first sentence she states she has developed a crush on this guy while she has a boyfriend, then she knowingly went to a party he'd be at and from the very start of that party she says she wanted to kiss him, so she got a little tipsy, started flirting with him and then told him she wanted to kiss him and then she did kiss him.
Guys this wasn't some drunken spur of the moment mistake. This was a premiditated act that she could have stopped or prevented.
She has a crush on another guy this can't just be put down as a drunken mistake and OP it doesn't matter if you get rid of this guy friend and don't contact him, the fact is you have to take a big long look at your current relationship. I've never gotten a crush on someone else when I;m in a relationship with a girl I love. I've never even lusted after another girl because that's not how it works. It sounds to me like your boyfriend isn't the one for you.
Forget about the kiss for a moment. What do you think he would do if he found out you developed feelings for someone else? That's far worse than a quick drunken kiss.
OP whether he finds out or not what's to say this won;t happen again with another guy? If you can get a crush on one person while you're with your boyfriend then it can happen again because your current boyfriend obviously isn't 'the one'.
You have to tell him, because he deserves to know your heart isn't all his, not only that but you ended up flirting with and initiating a kiss with another guy.
OP telling someone you want to kiss them is initiating it. You don't get off the hook because he made the physical move, you made the first move by telling him you wanted to.
A
male
reader, m_shay_f +, writes (22 January 2011):
I did something similiar in a relationship as well. The thing is she never truly trusted me again. I told her the same night it happened but she never believed it was just a kiss... Be prepared not to be forgiven but I think it is best to let everything known.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2011): Look. I really think you need to examine why you want to tell your boyfriend.
Most people who cheat tell their partners for selfish reasons to come clean, to absolve themselves of the guilt. If the kiss really meant nothing to you and it was a drunken moment. Let sleeping dogs lie. I don't think you need to ruin your relationship over a kiss. You didn't sleep with him and you have since cut off contact. There is no point. Just accept you are human and move on. I often think if my boyfriend kissed someone else..it would make a mess of me...and if it really meant nothing why tell me??
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011): thanks for helping me out 3
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A
female
reader, lexii  +, writes (2 January 2011):
say nothing
Lexii xxx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011): Tell him, would u want him to hide something like that from you?
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A
female
reader, Weird_Chick +, writes (2 January 2011):
 I really dont think that you should keep it a secret from him, hiding it always makes things worse in the end. just tell him what happened, you were hanging with your friends at a party got a little drunk and he kissed you and you pulled away and told him to stop and havnt talked to him lately. just tell him that it was all a big accident and that you never ment for it to happen. you just really need to talk to him about it, or he will eventually find out on his own and not know if he can trust what you say and he might think that you cheated on him and it will not end well this is how trust issues start and that just causes lots of fighting. so my advice to you, just tell him. hope this helps
good luck
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A
female
reader, hotinlove  +, writes (2 January 2011):
You can never make sure anyone does anything! In all honesty, grow up and tell your boyfriend the truth. It's been three years you said; doesn't he deserve better than to be lied to and cheated on? Im sure you would expect better manners from him. Stop worrying about what others may decide to do (talk about your kiss) and figure out the right thing for you to do! Tell your man!
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A
female
reader, Secretlife  +, writes (1 January 2011):
The best thing to do is tell your boyfriend. It's best not to hide it from him because then he's going to start feeling like he can't trust you.He's going to be upset with you but atlease you won't have so much on your chest. I dont think it should ruin your relationship because your being honest with him and if he really loves you then he can't stay mad at you forever. Just do it at an appropriate time.
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A
female
reader, Mjfbla +, writes (1 January 2011):
 You cant. Maybe you should just tell you bf. Leave out the I want to kiss you part but that he grabbed you kissed you and you pulled away and havent talked to him. If you dont tell him someone may get drunk again and let it slip
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