A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year. We really do love each other and care about each other. However, we've been having issues.We have a mutual close friend (call him Charles), that I am very close to. I hadn't seen him in awhile and during one outing with me, my boyfriend, and bunch our friends, I greeted Charles with a big hug and kiss on the cheek. This happened months ago and my boyfriend still wont forget about it. The hug and kiss meant nothing to both me and Charles (we are strictly just friends and nothing more), but my boyfriend mentions it over and over and says how much it hurt him. I told him that I'm sorry and that it didn't mean anything. I also said that if our positions were reversed and he had done the same thing, I wouldn't have minded at all. But he keeps arguing that the excuse "It doesn't matter" doesn't cut it and often says, "If I kissed another girl and said 'it didn't matter', what would you think?" I tell him that it's not the same, but he doesn't think there's any difference.My boyfriend keeps mentioning this and other small mistakes from the past. He just can't forget about what happened before. I know it hurts him and I said I'm sorry, and I don't know what else to do. He refuses to move on. What can I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2007): Ah! The little green monster raises its ugly head!
By saying sorry you are implying that you've done something wrong, which you most definitely have not. This idiot you've been seeing for a year has a real problem with his jealousy. If he can't cope with you saying hello to an old friend with a hug and a kiss you'll definitely have problems with him in the future. He'll be trying to prevent you from giving a man a handshake at this rate!
Tell him you're done apologising and to get over it and stop going on about it. If he can't or won't, I suggest you dump him and look for someone who is more rational in his thinking.
In fact I think I'd dump him anyway.
Phil
A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (4 October 2007):
 Tell him to grow up!!
If thats the only thing that you have ever done wrong (kiss a mate on the cheek) there is something wrong with him, to make you feel this way.
Its because you keep saying sorry and trying to make it up to him!! What do you have to opoligise for, kissing someone hello?.
I think its your boyfriend that has the issues, not you Honey.
XX
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