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female
,
anonymous
writes: I'm completly paranoid that my boyfriend is going to run off with another woman cause he's had quite a few ladies in the past. no matter how many times he tells me he loves me it means nothing. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (15 June 2006):
 Well if you are feeling that down about it and everytime he tells you he loves you it means nothing, why are you still there ? We all have a past, we have all had previous relationships. We cannot judge someone by what went before, we are all very different people. So what hes had a few ladies, doesnt mean hes going to run off! Unless you know hes the cheating kind and thats why your worried ? If he hasnt done anything to make you doubt him then you shouldnt. We should embark on every new relationship as a clean slate a with and open mind. If you keep acting like this you will drive him away, as he fell sense that you dont trust him and sod off anyway! Men dont like to feel mistrusted and they think well im gonna get done for it anyway so why not do it! Get some self confidence, its alot about self doubt that cause these sorts of problems, try and see if you can find a reason for why you might feel like this and see if you cant try and fix it.
A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (15 June 2006):
 My dear a relationship cannot work if there is a lack of trust from either one party or both. The past is the past, the present is what matters. Your jealousy will drive him away if you are not careful so my dear, if you want to make this relationship work discuss how you feel and set him straight but you must learn to trust him. Take care. xXx
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A
female
reader, camille +, writes (15 June 2006):
 No matter how many ladies he's had, you eithe rhave to believe in him or believe in yourself. It sounds like you don't have a high opinion of yourself. If you hsd self worth you'd see that a) he's with you because he chooses to be and b) if he did anything bad, you just get rid and move on as you'd deserve better. But what I think is, either get over your negative suspicions or you will lose him anyway. Maybe you'vbe had less lovers, but it's not a competition. Look at this way, if he's been with a few people, they obviously weren't right and those experiences may have led him to realise that you were the right one.
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A
male
reader, tux  +, writes (15 June 2006):
 You can chain him to your bed and throw away the key.
But why do you feel paranoid for? Just because he has had a lot of girls in the past does not mean he will run off with another. Of course, it can always happen and we must accept that it could happen otherwise we'll live paranoid that our lovers will run off with someone else which often leads to such action because you are more occupied with what you think they will do rather than paying attention to their needs in a partner. Without knowing why you are having these insecurities rather than his number of past partners, there isn't really much other than that to say.
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (15 June 2006):
 Not enough information here, hon. How old are you both? Married, single, divorced? How long have you been together? Have you got solid proof (like he's admitted) of his cheating ways, or are you going off hearsay? Why does his telling you he loves you "mean nothing"? Is it because he's lied in the past, or because you have low self-esteem?
Add a reply and fill in some gaps, and hopefully, someone will be able to help.
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