A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm having some sexual problems.I've been sexually active for about four years now, and I have never had any problems with my erections. However, this summer I experienced some signs of E.D, which was very stressful. I went to a doctor and they examined me, and found nothing physically wrong with me. Eventually they went away while I was with that partner, up until the night before we broke up. The relationship itself was rather stressful, in the bedroom anyway, and I think it was stress that brought this upon me.It's been about a month since then, and last night I had sex with a woman and the same sort of thing happened again. I started off just fine. I was penetrating her and it was all going okay. Then we tried to change position, and suddenly I went soft! After a short time, I was able to regain my erection and achieve an orgasm.So, thankfully it ended well, but what keeps causing me to go soft? It's humiliating, and it's not very nice for my partner either! I've already been to a doctor about it, so how can I relax myself?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Jennie :) +, writes (17 September 2009):
Hi there,This is nothing to worry about, on average 20 million men have this in the US alone. Things like negative thinking and stress, like you said, can bring this on. And it's not that you don't find your partner attractive, because she could be the most beautiful person in the world to you but you could still lose it. Maybe thinking that you're not satisfying your partner could lead to you losing your erection. Of course it will be embarrassing but I think that telling your partner and talking to her will ease a bit of the pressure that you my have on you.Try having sex when you're completely relaxed as-well. If it's a new relationship, then you're probably not yet ready to start having sex. No matter your age or sexual experience, people have feelings. I think you should take things slowly until you feel 100% ready to move on to the next step. I had a partner who had trouble in the bedroom. I completely understood when he told me and he was really embarrassed. He told me it was because he thought he wasn't satisfying me properly. It helps of your partner was to try and carry on and if you was to try and picture yourself in your fantasy. (Everyone has fantasies!) I really hope this helps and if you need any more help, then I'm here :)Jennie
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2009): If nothing is physically wrong, then it is probably emotional. Like you said, you were under stress in the last relationship. That stress and fear of not being able to perform probably spilled over into this relationship.
It sounds like you might positively impact the problem by getting to know your partner better before sex. This will make you feel more comfortable and confident. When you have sex, be up front with your partner about this.
I had a relationship with a man who had ED, I didn't know it, and I thought something was wrong with me. The better he got to know me, the easier it got. He did say that he had felt intimidated by me and my career.
I read that the continuous use of marijuana can cause these problems. I don't know it that is a factor or not.
Your doctor might give you a prescription of Viagra. I don't know if they would prescribe it for one so young. Unsure. Ask your doctor.
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