A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My family and I are "immigrants" from Florida who came to North Carolina for "a better life in North Carolina." I did NOT have a better life in North Carolina. Instead, I became VERY depressed and had a really rough time adjusting to the culture. I went through a very rough episode of culture shock; litle things about the culture irritated me. I felt sad, isolated, detached and helpless, and I missed my friends and the life I loved. Everybody expected me to fall in love with North Carolina as my home, and people became all defensive when I told them I hated it. I've been here for nearly 15 years and I still just can't adjust to the culture and I can't adjust to the climate. Above all, I hate the cold, crappy weather. We never had seasons in Florida. I've noticed that HERE, every year I begin to start feeling blue around October. This time of year makes me crazy. I hate North Carolina because of the culture as well. The primary cultural difference, in Florida, life is lived and loved and treasured. In North Carolina, life is endured. People come here to rot.I hate the cold, shitty people up here. I can't speak Spanish without being reprimanded. In Florida, everyone spoke to me in Spanish because everyone was Puerto Rican/Cuban/Mexican/some other kind of latino, but in North Carolina, all the neo-Puritans treat me like a criminal. No one says hello, goodbye, or thank you. It's just a frozen dump with nasty cold people. People tell me, "You've been here for a long time, you need to adjust, North Carolina is your home now." The thought of living my life in North Carolina makes my heart sink. I can't imagine having my children here, raising a family here, and eventually growing old and dying here. I just want to escape North Carolina, but I'm so scared that dream is dying. Maybe it's the weather, but I can't think rationally now. I feel sad and hopeless this time of year, and the thought of escaping seems far fetched. I've never been diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder, but I'm 100% sure that I have it. I don't want to take antidepressants that make me fat and make me fart all the time. I don't want to sit under some fancy lamp. I just want a real beach sunrise and to feel the warm sun on my face. I just want to leave North Carolina and never come back. I don't belong here, and my heart is never going to be here. I'm never going to love North Carolina like everyone expects me to.What's so uncanny is that, in my senior year of college, I went to live in a foreign country. Actually it's not uncanny. Mexico has its problems, but it's the best country for ME to be. Everyone at my university in North Carolina warned us that we would go through culture shock and how traumatic it would be, but it didn't even seem foreign to me. I felt belonging and acceptance. It was so cool to go to some foreign place and spread my wings and realize after I could fly after a decade of stubbing my toes in North Carolina. That was five years ago.Now I'm back, and life is just a drag all over again. I want to pour my heart out to one of my friends about this, but I don't want to burden them or bring them down. I've been crying today and haven't told anyone but I am so sick and tired of feeling helpless and feeling trapped in North Carolina. I would do anything to go live in Spain (I've researched Spain and knows lots about it) or go back to Mexico or just run awa and hide somewhere, but I am so scared that I can never escape this place. I want latin culture, and I want someone to speak to me in Spanish and I want plenty of sunshine.I can't think rationally becuase this season of year makes me mental. I can't stop crying. I'm so scared that I'm crazy. Am I? Is it crazy to believe I can get away from all this?Thanks just for listening to me.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (23 February 2009):
Family is important, but my Dad once said to me that if I got offered a great job in Canada or Hong Kong (I'm in the UK) he would miss me very much but would slap me if I didn't take it.
Your family wants you to be happy, they want you to be successful.
So what I'm saying is: STOP WASTING TIME AND LEAVE!!!!!
Get onto google and look for jobs that you can do in Florida, Mexico, or Spain. Look into the travel industry. American tourists to Spain need an American person to contact if it goes wrong so you could go and be a holiday rep.
Get your research done into what job you want and then find that job in the place you want. There is only yourself holding you back so figure out what you are scared of, give yourself a big kick up the arse, and get on with life!
How many more years are you going to waste sitting there and moaning rather than applying for jobs and being gone within a month?? If you want a holiday job in Spain this summer to get started then now is the time to be applying.
Good Luck!! xx
A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (23 February 2009):
 NC is not my most favorite place in the world either... but you see the answers before you: move someplace else! You've been to Mexico and liked it... you know Florida... you even mentioned Spain... I know it's a hard thing to hear but sometimes you have to take the bold, unpredictable step and just move on and out on your own. What's keeping you there? Family? You may be very dear to them, but this is your life and you should lead it the way you choose!
Take the risk -- set a goal to move out to one of the places you mentioned and just do it! Create a new life for yourself where you can thrive! Yeah, it's scary but only you can do it!
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