A
female
age
30-35,
*ubbles_10
writes:Ok, so my best friend and I haven’t been friends for about 6 months because I was a bad friend and she chose her boyfriend over me and everyone else. He told her not to be friends with me anymore and she listened to him. She would have never ever done that before, she has changed and I would know because I know her better than anybody. So he basically stole my best friend from me. She was a great friend, I mean she would do anything for me, she loved me for me and I love her to death still, we were inseparable. I took advantage of her and I really regret it. I still miss her, but not nearly as much as I did a couple months ago because I gave up. I gave up on trying to be friends with her again. I don’t acknowledge her at all at school, I don’t text or call her, I don’t do anything and neither does she. But, she has been doing things at school to try to hurt my feelings and or make me mad. She has been staring at me, and saying hi to people that she usually doesn’t say hi to if I’m walking with them, she is friends with this one girl that she doesn’t even like just to make me mad and says hi to her real loud by me so I notice, she walks through my classroom on purpose and if I’m not in my classroom yet, she still goes that way so she can walk by me in the hall it is really out of her way, she acts like she is just the happiest person alive around me but yet she hates me soooo much. That is the same stuff she used to do when we used to fight. It all started after Homecoming and that is when I really started to ignore her. Does that mean that she realized some stuff at Homecoming? and what I really want to know is why is she doing all of these things other than to make me mad I know, but why even bother wasting your time trying to make me mad if I don’t waste mine? Do you think she misses me and that is her way of showing it? because I don’t understand it. If you hate me so much then just leave me alone. But, the thing is is I don’t want her to leave me alone because then she has completely given up and i still want to try and fix things. Talking to her doesn’t work because she ignores me or gets angry, and she won’t talk to me in person, so I’m trying to just leave her alone, give her space and maybe she will miss me and realize some stuff and try to work it out. I just wanna know why!-Thanks
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female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (6 November 2009):
 Oh, I feel for you, I really do, I was in a similar situation with my best friend a while back. We were best friends for a few years and things just changed. I married, she found a new outlet for work, we both drifted and spent a lot of time on other things. When it came down to being friends or not, the final nail came when I moved away - she emailed me and asked if I had a problem with her, which i didn't (and said as much), but she went on to ask me all of these silly questions and make a HUGE deal out of a situation, which actually wasn't that big a deal. I needed time to find my bearings but she didn't want me around anymore so she pushed me away by making me feel like the bad person in order to justify her own feelings. What I think your friend is trying to do is to show you that she's ok without you, which is a harsh thing to have to sit back and watch, but for whatever reason, she needs to act the way she does right now and you need to step back from her and try to ignore her as much as possible. It is likely that the friendship is over and perhaps things have been said or done that can't be taken back? IF you've tried to talk to her to no avail, then i'm affraid it is probably a lost cause. People you are very close to are the people you can be hurt by the most when anything goes wrong. She is probably hurting as much as you are and trying to deal with the "break-up" of a good friendship, which can be like a break-up from a boyfriend. It doesn't need to get ugly on your part, do your best to be polite to her whenever you're in her company and try not to be bothered by her comments. If you want to try and talk to her, give it a little more time first. It might be that you're going to have to let this one go and move on - it is never easy moving on from friends, especially when you're not the person who made the break. Time IS a great healer, and you will be ok without her in your life but take little steps. If she continues with her behavior you may need to seek counsel from a trusted teacher or parent.sibling who may be able to talk to her. She is almost bullying you with her remarks and actions and those are not the traits of a good friend at all. You will be ok, and everything will eventually work out. It is a storm you'll have to weather until then. If you want to talk, feel free to email me. Good luck xx
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