A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am a thirty year old woman who has been married for 8 years. We had a lot of chemistry while we were dating but as soon as we got married it just vanished. My husband has admitted that the risque vibe was a turn on before we were married and that it was gone after. Anyway, I have quite a high sex drive so I've been feeling rejected and my confidence has suffered. I'm now living a life that I feel trapped in as I don't believe in divorce.I'm no longer interested in anything my husband has to say and it seems as though he's always complaining and depressed about life. I feel so sucked dry!It feels like we've tried everything to meet each others needs. I'm sick of the hard work, I'm sooo bored and I don't know what to do. We do have nice times too, where we get along, but it just seems something is missing. What should I do?
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confidence, depressed, divorce, sex drive, trapped Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Almaty  +, writes (4 July 2010):
I can offer this advice: counseling CAN help. It sounds silly and maybe even embarrassing to solicit the help of a stranger, but I saw my parents go through counseling and in the end it really helped them. Things aren't perfect, but it helped them to better communicate about the real problems and to understand and satisfy one another better.
As for the sex drive, I can sympathize... I'm in a long term relationship (though not married) and my girlfriend doesn't seem interested in sex. I am a very willing man, would do anything to please her, but even so, she doesn't have the drive. Perhaps if your problem with your husband is his low drive, you might talk about natural supplements.
But in the end, your husband needs to get over his own problems and realize he has responsibilities to meet with you. If he can't meet them and isn't willing to try (through whatever means, getting help, trying to better communicate, etc.), then you have to decide is it worth it for you to be at the level of unhappiness you are experiencing for the rest of your life. I'm not a huge advocate of divorce either, but sometimes it unfortunately ends that way.
Best of luck
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