A
male
age
36-40,
*attty215
writes:Hi everyone this is my first post, just wanted your opinions on something.I went out with this girl for 2 months, and just ended up getting messed around by her. She changed from hot to cold from day to day, one day would love me, next day would pretty much ignore me. Eventually an incident happened as and we decided to call its quits. This was 3 years ago. I’m a nice guy so I’m still friendly with her. The friendship has been ok, but she does revert back to her old tricks every now and then, e.g. when she was with a bf of 2 years I met her in a bar at uni and she was drunk and started saying how she missed me and wanted me to be a bigger part of her life and how she doesn’t like her bf the way she liked me, and low and behold the next day was back to her usual self etc and pretended it never happened. She broke up with this bf 6 months ago, and I’m still in touch with her. Recently she has moved to where I live for a job, so I have seen her more than I usually do. Whilst seeing her she has sent mixed signals to me, e.g. said she is going to a party next weekend and that I shouldn’t worry as its all girls, there no guys, and I shouldn’t worry, which is odd as I’m not going out with her. I know she doesn’t treat me very well, but I unfortunately have a soft spot for her which I can’t do anything about. I don’t want her back with all the problems I had last time, id only want her back if she changed. She knows this as I told her this a few days later after she drunkenly came on to me when at a bar in uni as I mentioned previously. So with that in mind when I see her and we get on well, should I make a move on her, or should I wait and see if she makes a move on me? See if she realy is gonna changeI’m by no means putting my life on hold waiting for something that will probably never happen, but I also don’t wanna miss a wasted opportunity.I'd be grateful for anyone opinion. Thanks for your time
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male
reader, mattty215 +, writes (2 November 2008):
mattty215 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi guys thanks for your advice, its realy helpful. in response to guillaume questions, i have met other girls since her, but nothing serious i didnt like them in that way and didnt want to lead them on, and become like her. i have talked to her occasionaly about other girls but not that often.
i think what ill do with her is remain friends, but keep it on that level and not think about her in a romantic way at all, untill she prooves to me otherwise she is willing to change. and next time she sends me a mixed signal, ill ask what she means by that and if she is willing to change and if not ill tell her not to waste my time with comments like that. and ill not come running everytime she clicks her fingers. that sound ok to you guys?
thanks again for your help
A
male
reader, sledge  +, writes (29 October 2008):
You should first find out if she has changed, if she hasn't, does she want to change. If so how is she changing herself. You said it your self "I don’t want her back with all the problems I had last time, id only want her back if she changed". This seems to be your variable that should determine whether you should make the move.
good luck in your decision
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