A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy on the internet a few months back. We emailed back and forth for a few weeks then finally exchanged numbers. Let me just point out that he is quite possibly everything I have ever wanted in a man, yet never really believed I would find it until I met him. I never seriously considered marriage or even thought about it until we met. We are opposites but in a complimentary way,we share the same views on major issues and we literally crack eachother up :)..and he has the best laugh, the kind where even if its not that funny, hearing him laugh makes you laugh. The first time I saw him in person was amazing...we didnt kiss that night but I really wanted to. When we finally had our first kiss, it was definitely worth the wait...I mean I melted inside. It was the softest most perfect first kiss I have ever experienced in my entire life, he kissed me the exact way I liked to be kiss and he didnt even need any coaching.But of course as luck would have it, it isnt all a bed of roses. He recently (before we met online) got out of a serious, long term relationship (5 yrs, according to him it just wasnt working and he doesnt think about them getting back together). He knows how i feel about him, basically I like him and want to get to know him with the possibility of us being more than friends in the future. He has alot going on( school, and he works nights, family obligations, and various business ventures hes involved with) plus I do think hes emotionally unavailable..he does like me but I know hes not ready to jump in another relationship which is fine with me because I really think he's "Mr right (for Me)" But he doesnt make an attempt to contact me and see me as often as I would like...but still my feelings have only grown. Hes really a great guy, hes so sweet and so patient with me (i"ve freaked out and cursed him out on occasion lol) and hes even said that im the most impatient person ever, which i know is true lol, yet he only reacts rationally, calmly and oh so respectfully. When I speak about him, 2 of my friends have straight out told me, "you're in love with him" and 1 of my friends asked if I was, I replied no...I know I care for him and my feelings for him are strong, but im not sure if its love yet.Its been months since I have "gotten any" and hormonally I am craving it. We have spoke about sex seriously, like std's and protection etc plus of course fav positions and that sort of thing. But he has never really tried or even pressured me for it, which I asked him about and he basically says he doesnt see me as a "jump off" although of course he wants to and would enjoy it. SOOO my question is should i, or should I not. I want to but I am also worried about what happens later. Sex changes everything, and i am a sensitive person which sex would only heighten my sensitivity level when it comes to him...but I also think about how great it would be but I dont want him to lose respect for me and to fall into the "friends with benefits category" I really want a full on relationship with this guy. HELP ME DECIDE PLEASEEEE!!I appreciate all your input..thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009): You are wanting it to be more than he does. It depends whether you are willing to wait. Don't get involved sexually because you would be making yourself vulnerable; you have already said that isn't what you want.
Ask him how he sees things going between you in the future so as to get a realistic idea of what is what. Then if it's not what you want, move on. It's only been a few months and really in that time you can't know the reality of a person.
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