A
female
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anonymous
writes:Im feeling really depressed at the moment and i just dont know where to turn.I broke up with my fella last year for a number of reasons but my man always kept contacting me to see him etc,in the mean time he met someone else and started a relationship with her for a year,but he was still pursuing me,anyway i did meet up with him and we spent the night together but i didn't know he was with this other woman.I got back with him a month ago but he told me today that this other woman finished with him but he didn't like the rejection although he said he loved me,but still has feelings for her.Now im feeling very low because he confessed to me that he was looking for her 3 weeks ago to see if she was seeing someone else,i started getting angry because it looked like a jealous ex boyfriend,but he said that he needs me and wants me to forgive him but i just cant when i know he's not completely over her. Am I right to feel like this? I just dont trust him anymore,what shall i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYour right,no matter how hard i try to forget this other woman i still think about him sleeping with her and it eats me up inside.I cant forgive him.
A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (17 April 2007):
 If you cant get past what he has done, and no-one can blame you for that. Then the damage is done already. Your feelings cant be played like this. He had his chance and he went off and saw another woman, with the excuse he done it to get over you; which is pathetic.
If you loved someone that much you mourn for them, you dont go out and sleep with someone else and develop feelings for them that quickly. This just undermines what you had with him in the first place.
Simple truth is, if you cant trust him and you have your doubts which you do, then dont go down that road again. Someone who can forget the feelings they had for someone by sleeping with someone else so quickly, obviously was'nt on the same page as yourself.
You sound like you've had enough of all this, so do what your gut is telling you to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwhats the point to it all? He's been contacting me all day saying he wants me and only went with her to get over me but i keep thinking about them being in bed together,it makes me feel jealous and heartbroken,i just dont know what to do,how do i know that he's not contacting her behind my back?
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male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (15 April 2007):
Only he will truley know when he is over this other woman. You wont know until he decides to devote his time and his mind solely to you.
What does his depression stem from?
It might be wise for him to seek professional assistance with this. If he is at all serious about the two of you then he will consider this.
I personally have never understood the excuse of seeing someone to get over the person you used to love. But everyone deals with things in their own way.
He needs to sort his head before you continue with this relationship. You can support him but you need to be sure he has eyes for you and you only.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCan anyone help me please because i need more advice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCan i just say that she ended the relationship with him in the new year but he said that he only went with her because he was trying to get over me because i wasn't with him....Trouble is he said he loves me and wants us to be together but he has some feelings for this other woman..he's suffering from depression so thats not helping,but how can i be with him if he's also thinking about her? And how will i know when he is completely over her? Im very sad over this.
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male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (14 April 2007):
Your feelings are totally valid. Why was he looking for her while he was back with you?
He might still have feelings for you, but while he is confused to what he wants I think you need to give him the distance.
He cant expect you to wait while he finds out what he wants, he should of made the decision when he got back with you.
Ask up front, who he choosing? You or her?
He obviously has feelings for her and that cant be helped but he chose to come back to you so it is up to him to get over that as quickly as possible so that he can make the most of his life with you.
Your trust cant be stretched much more than it has been already, so he needs to get over her or get over you. End of story....x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2007): I would say you are definatly right to feel this way. This guy is obviously confused and caught up between two women and is being ingnorant of what you might think/feel. I know it sounds easy for me to say but just give him the boot and find someone who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve. You don't have to put up with this! good luck babe x x
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