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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: How do you move on once and for all?I've liked this guy for over 2 years, we've slept together a few times in the past. He lives quite a few hours away and a relationship probably wouldn't have worked so i sort of just had to accept that.He's in a relationship now where as i'm just dating at the moment. We still talk quite a bit online etc... sometimes he calls for a chat.The thing is, a few months ago we ended up sleeping together, it was obviously a mistake and i'm not really sure how it happened. I think because the attraction has always been there and is still there that it must have been a moment of weakness.Well, that was a few months ago and i'm still trying to figure out how to sort everything out in my head. I spoke to him and told him that this "friendship" was just too hard and that we obviously can't be alone without something happening, for whatever reason.He said clearly we like each other but that can't happen, whatever that means. He said it was important to stay friends.I really like him, i'm ashamed to say and i know that i need to stop all this because it's not healthy. I just don't know how to because i've tried cutting contact but that didn't last long.He's not back for a while, at least another 3 months, because of army training, and wants me to come and visit him and said i can stay over if i want. He promised that nothing would happen and maybe he means that but i know that us sleeping in the same bed isn't a good idea.I just don't know what to do any more and it hurts.
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male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (5 February 2011):
I suspect you want a serious relationship with him. You didn't mention it but, if it hurts, it's because what you have right now (friendship with sex) is not what you want.
In the other end, he isn't willing to get serious. So, there is no reason for trying. Your only option is to get rid of him. And you know what you have to do to stop seeing him. If you are unable to do what you need to do. There is nothing we can do here.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2011): There are two ways to solve it.
1. Kick him out of your "friend" list immediately like delete his phone number, kick him out of your facebook friends, so You literally cannot contact him anymore. This is will hurt you and him a lot in short term but is good for both of you in long term.
2. Forget him bit by bit. Which is not effective but less pain in short term. You can start with focusing on other things in your life and then go to meet other men in your life.
I had tried both methods in the past and I personally prefer the first one even though it hurts a lot.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (5 February 2011):
 Oh honey, i feel your pain. If you really want to get over him then yes, contact needs to be cut completely. I'm talking deleting/blocking from internet sites/MSN, changing your email address and phone number too. Your network provider can do this easily for you.
He has a girlfriend, and your right, you two sharing a bed whilst he's with someone isn't right, don't make him a cheat, and don't let yourself become the 'other woman'...
In the meantime, stay busy. Start a hobby or spend time with your friends, things will hurt at first, but they will get easier. Best of luck, it's horrible when it hurts so much :( you can always talk on here, a lot of aunts and uncles on here give some cracking advice out :)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2011): It's apparent your role in his life is that of a fall back sexual convenience and no more. Gather about your self respect and keep reminding yourself you are worth more than to let men use you this way.
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